the ghost of you is following me around

~the ghost of you is following me around like it doesn't have better things to do~
         written by ~Minja~

your absence
is seen everywhere
these days
like it has
nowhere to go
even though
i gave her permission
to leave

she lingers
in her grey sweater
on the hottest days
and hums the new tune
every time i tell her
i'm sick of this world
trying to erase itself
like the false lesson
in history books

which was never false
in the first place

sometimes she stands
in the darkest corner
of the theater
trying to ghost me
in front of everyone

but
i catch her glance
when she thinks
i'm not looking

and it's kind of sweet
how she's seventeen then
painting her cheeks
in hot red
even though
we are both too old
to play this game

sometimes she whispers
sweet nothings
in my ear
and the angel
on my shoulder
becomes the devil
clinging onto past
and times
when you weren't
so elusive
and i
so forlorn

i wonder
if i never let you inside
would i still be a hot mess
trying so hard
not to mess this up

would your ghost
still try to go home
if i didn't lock the door
and throw the key away
_______________________________

*someone please call the ghost busters