Papa...

"Damn that stupid Spacebook! It censored my comment on the vaccine boosters. How do they know they are safe?"

"It's Facebook Papa, maybe you shouldn't be posting about covid. They come down hard on misinformation!"

"Spacebook, Facebook, what difference does that make? They let the stupid doctors post on it! What the heck do they know? They still say China didn't make it on purpose."

"Papa," Why am I even trying? "Maybe China didn't make it on purpose."

"It isn't politically correct to say it came from Africa like ebola. You know the white supremacists created Ebola to take out the African Americans."

"Papa!" Partially I yelled because of his outrageous comments, partially because someone had just cut him off from the left lane.

"That stupid woman driver shouldn't even be behind the wheel! She's damn lucky I have breaks and decided to use them!"

Dear god, when I die on this car trip don't send me to hell because of the company I keep. "Calm, down Papa! We don't want you to have to take a nitro pill while you are driving!"

"It's okay I took it at the last red light!"

Dear god, help me!

"You know what I really get a kick out of!"

Oh god, is this going to be a good kick or a bad one?

"Biden keeps telling us our economy is growing and inflation isn't as bad as everyone says. He said gas was going down across the country. It went up three cents here!"

"Papa he's talking about the average price."

"Average smaverage! He don't know his own butt hole from fifty cents! We need Trump back! Now he was a good president! They just didn't give him enough time to make America great again."

"They are still trying to impeach him! Now they're trying to make it so he won't be eligible for reelection! I just don't know what this world is coming to."

"Papa, The DMV is that last exit we passed."

"Don't get me started on the DMV!"

Really I am not trying to! "I need to take my driving test! Remember, so I can take on some of the driving!"

"You know I don't mind driving you!" Curb check. "Remember I used to drive a bus until they retired me because of the traumatic brain injury! I still drive just fine. It's all about the damn insurance!" He cuts across the grassy median and performs an illegal u-turn.

He pulls up to the DMV driver's test station. I hold out my hands for the keys.

"Oh, they want you to do the test?"



498 words
PS.

I love you, papa! Frankly, he didn't really start coming out as a curmudgeon until his forced retirement.

NEW PROMPT: ▼

Tomorrow, January 29, is Curmudgeons Day. This observance celebrates the birthday of noted curmudgeon and comedian W.C. Fields (more details at that link). Write a story or poem about someone who became a curmudgeon exactly 20 years ago. What was the incident that changed them? Do they have any desire to stop being a curmudgeon? In honor of W.C. Fields, one required genre for your item is: Comedy.