it's not fair that you must go

~it's not fair that you must go before i make home in your heart~
                 written by ~Minja~


i don't know why
i can't drop killer lines
when your voice was phenomenal
to begin with

it didn't even need
the thesaurus
nor syllable count
like in the poems i wrote
last September

yet
my quill is depressed
while thinking about you
even though i try to
not surrender to melancholy

you don't deserve
the worst of me

i burdened my last muse
with too much grief on my mind
and haven't heard from her
since then

it's not like i blame her
for my lack of interest
if i could
i'd walk away from myself too
a few poems ago

but this time
it's not even my fault
so why does it still feels
like i'm having attachment issues
when i really want you
to stay

maybe the universe and i
are at some kind of war
that i know nothing about
except for the fact
i never win the battles
it challenge me in

maybe this time
i should be a challenger
and be honest about my thoughts
instead of finding
subtle ways of saying
i'll die if you leave now

like the day i told you
i can't sleep at night
and god-knows-what
crossed your mind

but then i remember
you still have my heart
in your pocket
so i'm technically half-dead
anyway

perhaps this is the reason
why i sound
so unreasonable now
and perhaps you think
this is not what i signed up for
when we first met

either way
i'm calling a taxi for this stanza
before it gets too drunk
to walk away

this is the first
and probably the last time
i write about you
before you pack your flirtations
and say goodbye

as my poor heart
keeps hoping
you'll find a home for it
somewhere safe
until the stars align one day
and slide you down the milky way
straight into my open arms
____________________________________



*does anyone know how to keep a muse?