Rash Reveal

It was the first in a while,
that my emotions had gone to this
A crush, an extra layer of feelings for someone
That giddy, light feeling that someone is special to you
The desire to be near that person, to talk to them, to be closer than a friend
When this happens, your logic melts
Even when this is a time when you need it most
My recent crush did not end well
It wasn't even mine at first, it developed after a for-the-heck-of-it relationship began, then when it ended, I was the one hurt, the one that was left crying because I loved them in a way they didn't, couldn't, return
Which meant this time, I took any possible sign that my affections were returned, and ran with it
And that,
was a mistake
The revealing of my feelings left me wishing I'd remained silent, cursing myself for rushing things, even after I have said I wouldn't
Now I feel strange talking to a friend I have had for a decade, someone I had just reconnected with
Maybe I am still being too rash in believing it will never be the same
This has happened before, I told my friend I loved them, the feelings were
Unreciprocated, and life went on
We remained friends, and we remain friends until this day
But for now, I'm left with a regret
That I have ruined things, let myself down another time by having hope
For someone to love me back