personality

Personality..
Something that differs people, something other than the color of someone's eyes, the length of their hair, height. Its your inner beauty, or your inner hurt. Everyone's personality enhances things people might not realize. The quietest kids have the loudest families, the loudest kids are the ones scared of silence, Its not the quiet that scares them.it's the background noise.. The whispers.. The yelling in the neighbors house across the street. The thoughts that can take over when you aren't even realizing. Not just the bad ones, sometimes there are memories.. But not everyone wants those. They don't want the recollection of the hurting aspects those memories brought.

What makes one's personality, what changes the little girl whose biggest issue was who her favorite princess of the day would be, was it the time in your life where you thought drugs were the only escape, was it the divorce, the fighting, the yelling, the crying. There's no answer in the end. Adding up one by one thing by thing to make you? How does this work? How do you comprehend that every mistake, every decision will make you who you are in the end. The end you is every single decision from the time you were born to the time you're on your deathbed. Whether you turn left or right. If you say yes instead of no. How does this make you change? Why does this make me change?

Then there's the moments where all of those background thoughts end. That's the real you. The you that comes out when you're at the high in your life. The late night drives you, the blasting music you, the screaming at the top of your lungs running from everything the outside you have to offer. The outside you.. That's the sitting in class with your head glued to your paper writing notes so you can get a high enough gpa to go to college, the listening when you want to speak up, the silent cry because no one can hear. Hiding all emotion is what's socially accepted in this world. And if you do speak up, you're losing more than gaining. Let me explain, in this day and time you're restricted to almost a guide for how you can look, talk, act. “Don't wear that” “work harder” “try harder” are all aspects that differ you. If you're told all these things for years of your life you start to change, to fit that socially acceptable aspect of the world today.

At the end of the day there's no real you anymore. And especially for women there never could be, truly. You were forced to stay home, take care of the kids. But even as this world has grown so much it's still not perfect. Your body has to be this or that. You have to act a certain way but still be funny, but not funnier than him, a differ to personality. You can't be too skinny but if you have the slightest bit of stomach you're gross. Living up to standards no teenage girl should ever feel obligated to do. That's how it is today, that's how your personality
differs. Here's your answer. Every single person, every comment, every action. That's what builds to make you. Even if it's not what anyone wants to hear, it's the false reality of the world today.