Torn

         Tired
Loving you and denying you
Wanting you and running from you
Needing you and forgetting you

Emotions are erratic, eating me up inside
Fear becomes my only ally

Guard up
Hopes down
Disappointment clear as glass

One minute hot
The next cold
The games become old

The fear and pain are evident in both
The willingness to try seemingly one-sided

The vulnerability becomes real
Your touch, I begin to crave
Nothing more than the intimacy

Comparisons
reality to fantasy

Daydreams to nightmare
Imagination to nightmare

Bouncing back and forth
Never making up my mind

Torn between believing the rumors
And believing my gut

Damn brain has me in a fit of panic
Cursed heart has me in anguish

I need you - no
I want you - yes

Could I be in love with you?
Or
The idea of loving you?