Having a Father vs Having a Dad

A boy wishes he had a Dad and not just a Father.
A Father I have. It’s a Dad I craved but never had.
How I wish I didn’t have to deal with this crappy day.

Many don’t know I left at 18 because of someone who thinks he’s my dad but only my Father.
An alcoholic in denial. He thinks it’s other people who have the problem, not him, which infuriates me. The claim, “I can stop anytime I want to but hasn’t done anything close to that in the 50 years since I’ve known him to be one, rings rather hollow.

Any man can be called a Father but it takes a truly special man to be called “Dad”. One who can teach his children the good, the love and caveats of life to be learned, to protect his children. At times to be scolded for things we do wrong as children. Not to be physically and emotionally abused.

We may both share the same genes but we’re like mirror opposites. He doesn’t share the empathy, compassion or understanding as I do for others. Why is this? Only he knows or does it matter in his eyes?
He’s self-centered and thinks he can buy people’s love. Not mine. He used up all his currency when I was under his roof.

I only tolerate him and the day for my mom because she asks me to. When mom is gone, he’s on his own.
A Father I have. It’s a Dad I craved but never had.
How I wish I didn’t have to deal with this crappy day.

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