A Typical Sitcom (With Wedgies)

Rosie’s eyes fluttered open, hearing an alarm scream in her ears. “Ugggh,” she grumbled, struggling to move. She held out her plump arm, attempting to reach out to the desk beside her bed. The alarm clock danced around her fingers, shaking the desk completely. Her right hand slammed itself against the clock, interrupting the rectangular object’s screeching. She moved her body, rolling over onto her backside. She normally slept on her stomach, meaning she had to turn over each morning. She had to greet the neighbors since she had just moved into the apartment complex last night.

She currently resided in the bedroom of her apartment. A single bathroom was connected to the hallway inside the apartment dorm and a single washing machine was placed several feet away from her room, meaning that she would have to share with her neighbors. Granted, she had not met any of her neighbors yet. She walked up to the sink in the hallway, looked into the mirror, and sighed when she saw the reflection. A short, chubby Caucasian girl with long, messy scarlet hair looked back at her. She picked up her black-rimmed glasses and gently placed them over her emerald eyes. She wore a white tank top and matching shorts for her pajamas. Her large complexion made it hard to fit into the clothes, creating an extremely tight experience. She sighed as she noticed a black fabric sticking out of her shorts. “Hmmph,” she groaned, pushing the fabric down. It’s always sticking out, she thought bitterly. If I’m not careful, somebody’s going to give me a wedgie. She sighed and walked back into her bedroom. From there, she changed into a normal set of clothes: a purple t-shirt with a white, smiling cat on the center, a pair of jeans that wrapped tightly around her waist, short white socks, and dark blue sneakers. “I really need to lose weight,” she panted, feeling suffocated by her own pants. One thing’s for sure, she thought to herself. I don’t need a belt.

A knock on the front door to the hallway echoed throughout the hallway. Rosie rushed over to open the door, seeing a tall woman in front of her. “Welcome to the neighborhood,” she stated with a smile, a slight Hispanic accent encapsulating her voice.

“Thanks,” Rosie replied cheerfully, observing the woman’s body frame. This slender woman had a dark complexion and curly, pitch black hair that reached down to her shoulders. She wore a light blue, sleeveless tube top that bore her midriff and denim shorts that exposed her lean physique, and pink sneakers. Rosie also noticed that the woman had a muscular set of arms, making her wonder if this woman lifted weights. The woman took a step closer,, making Rosie realize that the former had a solid foot over her. “So, what’s your name?”

“Carmen,” the woman stated confidently, placing her hands on her hips. “Carmen Cruz.”

Rosie nodded, smiling. She could already tell she was going to like this one. “Rosie Basso,” she replied. “Are you like, Mexican or something?”

Carmen nodded. “Yeah. Born in a pretty big family back in Miami. I know, pretty cliche,” she said with a chuckle. “You?”

Rosie joyfully held her arms behind her back. “I’m Italian, but I don’t speak a single word of it.” She held her fingers firmly together, shaking the hand in a silly manner. “I can talk like this,” she joked, putting on a fake accent.

Carmen giggled. “That’s pretty good,” she admitted. “I can speak Spanish, but I mostly use English. It’s fun to alternate between the two, though,” she added.

“Which language do you prefer?” Rosie asked.

“Spanish, obviously,” Carmen replied. “It’s the one I grew up with, but English is pretty fun too.”

“I know a little bit of Spanish from high school classes,” Rosie stated. “I can speak a few sentences. Tengo hambre,” she said, rubbing her stomach while transitioning into Spanish.

“Not bad,” Carmen replied with a smile.

“Do you work out?” Rosie questioned, eyeing Carmen’s muscles.

Carmen gave a simple nod. “All the time. I’m the coach at the gym across the street if you ever need a lesson.”

“Thanks,” Rosie answered. “I intend to go there when I can,” she added. “I’m also thinking about finding the local ice rink if I can. I played goalie in high school and I’d like to keep in shape.”

“Oh, were you good?” Carmen asked, her interest piqued. “I love ice hockey.”

“Well, I blocked the puck,” Rosie said with a chuckle. “I really need to eat healthier,” she stated, looking at her oversized gut. “I’ve gotten a bit fat the past couple of months. I guess I like food too much.”


“I can tell,” Carmen observed, her blue eyes focusing on Rosie’s figure. “I can help you out if you want,” she offered.

“Thanks,” Rosie replied, grinning. She let out a deep breath, wrapping her fingers around her jeans’s waist area. “Oooh boy. These jeans are giving me a serious wedgie,” she panted. “You ever deal with wedgies?”

“Oh, all the time!” Carmen stated, tossing her arms into the arm.

“Bullies have been giving me wedgies my entire life,” Rosie added.

“I’ve been there,” Carmen agreed. “Even after I started working out, I still get wedgies. I get one at least once per day.”

Rosie raised an eyebrow. “You don’t seem like somebody who would get a wedgie.”

Carmen shrugged. “Eh, it can happen to anyone,” she replied.

“Who gives you wedgies?” Rosie questioned.

“Oh, uh, friends at the gym,” Carmen stated with uncertainty.

“Those don’t really sound like friends,” Rosie pointed out.

“Yeah, I guess I need to get better friends,” Carmen conceded. “It’s because of them that I’ve become a wedgie connoisseur,” she joked, laughing. “I can tell you all the wedgies I know of. Want to hear them?”

“Not really,” Rosie said, shaking her head.

“Oh,” Carmen murmured. “That’s fine, I guess.”

The door creaked open once more revealing a woman slightly younger than them popped her head through the opening. An Asian woman of a stature matching Rosie’s walked into the hallway. The skinny woman had shaggy black hair and possessed jet black eyes. She wore a mint green peplum top with a red flower pattern gracing the fabric, brown khakis, and grey sneakers. “Hi!” she greeted cheerfully, waving her hand in the hand. “You just moved in, right?”

“Yes, I’m Rosie,” the redhead contributed, holding her hand out.

“I’m Mai Maki!” the woman said cheerfully, taking Rosie’s hand and bouncing it up and up. “How are you doing?”

“Alright,” Mai said, smiling.

Carmen shook her head. “Nope,” she answered. “So, what are you into?”

Stars formed in Mai’s eyes. “Anime!” she exclaimed.

“Me too!” Rosie exclaimed, equally as mesmerized. “What anime do you like?”

“I like this one called Dragon Ball,” Mai answered.

Rosie’s jaw nearly dropped in excitement. “You like that franchise too?”

Carmen raised an eyebrow. “What’s Dragon Ball?”

Mai and Rosie’s eyes focused on Carmen. “You don’t know what Dragon Ball is?” they asked simultaneously.

“No,” Carmen said simply. “I don’t watch anime. I don’t really watch anything other than sports.”

Mai let out a sigh of disappointment. “What a shame,” she said melodramatically.

“Not really,” Carmen said, crossing her arms. “How old are you two exactly?”

“Twenty-two,” Rosie and Mai answered simultaneously.

“Damn,” Carmen muttered, her eyes widening in surprise. “I’m only three years older. You two make me feel old.”

“Sorry,” Mai apologized, scratching her head nervously.

Carmen noticed a white fabric protruding from Mai’s pants. “Hey, have you ever gotten a wedgie?”

“What makes you say that?” Mai questioned. Carmen pointed her left index finger at Mai’s waist, making her stare at the source of the intrusion. “Oh. That. Yeah, my sister gave me a wedgie earlier,” she explained.

“Why does she do that?” Carmen asked, continuing to eye Mai’s undergarments.

“I don’t know,” Mai said with a shrug. “They’re pretty painful.”

“I bet,” Carmen stated. “I get a wedgie every day from my friends.”

“Ouch,” Mai stated, sticking out her tongue. “That must be painful.”

“Eh, you get used to it,” Carmen said with a shrug. “I’ve gotten shoulder wedgies, messy wedgies, melvin wedgies, bra-connection wedgies, hanging wedgies,” she reminisced, thinking about the agonizing experiences she received every day. “And if I’m really lucky, they give me an atomic every Friday.”

“You really know a lot about wedgies,” Mai noticed, somewhat concerned by her level of knowledge. “Maybe you should tell them you don’t want wedgies.”

“I don’t think that’s going to work, but I appreciate the suggestion,” Carmen said, smiling.

Rosie shuddered upon hearing all of this discussion about wedgies. “Can we talk about something else?” she suggested. “So, Mai. Are you Japanese?” Rosie asked, placing an intrigued finger to her chin. “I’m just curious.”

Mai nodded. “Yep. And before you ask, I didn’t get into anime on my own. My best friend introduced me to Dragon Ball and other anime.”

“That’s interesting,” Rosie observed. “Do you know any Japanese?”

Mai held her left hand in the air and rotated it left and right. “A little,” she answered quickly. She spoke much faster than Rosie typically heard a person speak. “My mom isn’t really into her culture. My dad is, but I don’t see him that often. The only Japanese I know comes from anime.”

Carmen chuckled. “Really?” she asked incredulously.

Mai gave another nod. “Yeah. I know it’s kind of weird, but that’s just the way I am. Are you two dating anyone? I’m just wondering in case they show up sometime.”

Rosie and Carmen shook their heads. “I’m not really sure if I’ll ever find somebody. I hope so, though.”

“I don’t really have a preference,” Carmen admitted. “I’ll take whoever can stand me.”

“That’s the spirit!” Mai explained, clapping her hands together.

Carmen smiled. “You got spunk, you know that?”

“I do now,” Mai said with a grin. She noticed the black fabric sticking out of Rosie’s jeans. “Say Rosie, do you get a lot of wedgies too?”

Rosie shrugged nervously. “I’ve gotten a bunch. At the moment though, I’m just fat.”

“Sorry to hear that,” Mai said with a nervous chuckle. “My sister has given me lots of wedgies over the years. Her favorite is either the atomic or to leave me hanging for several hours.”

“That must be quite the experience,” Carmen assumed.

“That’s one way to describe it,” Mai said with a shudder.

“So is this the new neighbor?” an aggressive voice questioned through the door.

“Oh no,” Mai whispered, her body trembling. “Not you again...”

An Asian woman taller than Rosie but shorter than Carmen strolled into the hallway. She wore black heels, a black t-shirt with a red rose printed on the center, and torn white shorts. She kept her black hair with dark blue highlights in a bob cut. Much like Carmen, she possessed a muscular frame. She held her body in a stern position as she let out a groan. “Ugh,” she muttered, placing a vexx hand to her head. “You’re here?”

“Is that your sister?” Carmen questioned.

“Unfortunately,” Mai grumbled, staring into the woman’s eyes.

“The feeling is mutual,” the woman replied, turning her gaze towards Rosie and Carmen. “I’m guessing you two are also my neighbors. I’m Ami.”

I really need to talk to my neighbors more, Carmen realized. She had been at the apartments for a few months and yet did not know any of her neighbors or their lives.


Rosie nodded slowly. “I’m sensing some tension between you two,” she said, pointing at the two sisters.

Mai sighed. “We’d get along if somebody didn’t give me WEDGIES!” she shouted, her voice growing louder with each syllable.

“Hmmph,” Ami grumbled, her eyes becoming daggers. “Maybe if you weren’t such a nerd I wouldn’t pull your panties over your face,” she said, snickering. Before Mai could react, Ami’s fingers wrapped themselves around Mai’s frilly waistband. With a motion mimicking an uppercut, Ami jerked her fist full of multi-colored floral printed fabric upward.

“Eek!” Mai yelped, her face turning into a grimace. Her eyes tightly shut as she felt the fabric painfully crawl up her stomach. Mai’s face turned into a grimace, struggling not to curse.

“Ack!” Ami shrieked, feeling a certain fabric being yanked up her back. Without any warning, her feet left the ground. She craned her neck to see Carmen grinning as the taller woman held her mint green waistband in the air. “Let me go!”

“Sorry, but you kind of deserve it,” Carmen replied, lifting Ami even higher and making the latter squeak.

“Ok! I’m sorry! Just put me down!” Ami pleaded, kicking around in the air.

Carmen merely laughed. “Give me a second.” She bounced Ami up and down and ripped a massive hole in the fabric, making the latter fume more and more with each passing second. Giving one last heave, Carmen lifted her arms into the air and snapped the fabric in half. The torn material rested in Carmen’s hands before she let the waistband float down onto Ami’s head.

“Wow,” Mai murmured, mystified by Carmen’s strength. Ami groaned as she collected the torn fabric as she stomped away. Mai turned to Carmen. “How’d you do that?”

“Well, I lift weights,” Carmen said bluntly. “Plus, she was being a bully. Figured she needed a taste of her own medicine.”

“Thanks,” Mai said with a smile. “Maybe I should work out at that gym sometime.”

“Same,” Rosie agreed. “You took that smug look off her face so quickly!”

“All in the wrist,” Carmen joked before she turned to walk out the door. “If you two need anything, I’ll be doing my shift at the gym.”

“Thanks!” Rosie said. She turned to Mai. “So, do you know any good jobs in this town?”

Mai nodded. “Yeah. I’m a waitress at the local Applebee’s! They’re running short on that position if you’re willing to work there.”

“I’ve never waited tables,” Rosie said nervously. “Is it hard?”

“They’re hiring anybody at the moment, so you should be fine!” Mai replied. “One of my friends, Vedna, works there.”

“Does she know your sister?” Rosie questioned.

“Not really, I keep Ami a secret from my coworkers,” Mai said sheepishly. “Hey, if we hurry, I bet we can get you working the night shift tonight!”

“Okay,” Rosie said with a shrug. “I’m a night owl, anyway.”


“So, you’re the new recruit?” Vedna asked apathetically, sending a shiver down Rosie’s spine. The redhead had never worked in fast food before, so she was not sure if she was acing the interview or not. Vedna, although slightly shorter than her, commanded an imposing presence. She had a bored look to her face, tapping her fingers against the countertop of the bar area. Vedna herself was a waitress, wearing a black t-shirt with a name tag on the top left, denim shorts, blue sneakers, and white socks. Unlike Rosie, Vedna was a skinny, dark skinned woman and possessed a slender figure. Finally, she wore her long black hair in a ponytail that reached down to her waist. “I guess we can hire you. We’re short on staff at the moment.” A massive grin popped onto her face. “But first, we have a test around here for newbies.”

Rosie gulped, wondering whatever that could mean. “What is it?”

“It’s a game me and the others come up with, right Mai?” Vedna asked, gesturing toward the woman on Rosie’s left.

“Well, you came up with it,” Mai pointed out.

“I try not to take all the credit,” Vedna replied, returning her gaze to Rosie. “Whoever gets the least amount from tips takes a wedgie from the person who made the most for the night.”

“Why?” Rosie asked, raising an eyebrow.

“It’s to boost competition,” Vedna explained. “Granted, it’s just been me and Mai the past few nights.”

“So, what kind of wedgie does the loser get?” Rosie asked. While she wanted a job, she was certain that she was going to come in last in this competition for the most part.

“Depends on what the wheel lands on,” Vedna explained casually. “We bought a wheel a while back with a list of wedgies.”

“What’s on the wheel?” Rosie questioned, becoming curious. Maybe I can actually win one of these. I’ve never given a wedgie before…

“Every wedgie you can think of,” Vedna stated before she started counting on her hand. “Normal wedgie, ripping wedgie, atomic wedgie, melvin wedgie, messy wedgie... I love that one...”

Rosie shuddered in disgust. “What would you use for that?”

“Just leftover food or ice, I guess,” Vedna said with a shrug. “Anyway, the rest of them. Two for one. That’s where you get two spins and you mix the two together. Chair wedgie, bra-connection wedgie... If we ever get a waiter working here, we’ll get him a bra for the wedgie. We always got spares.”

“You are very detailed with this,” Rosie observed, almost disturbed by Vedna’s level of knowledge.

“I try,” Vedna said with a smirk. “And of course, the shoulder wedgie, jock lock wedgie, and squeaky clean wedgie, which is another personal favorite of mine. If the winner lands on that one, she gets to pick another waitress to help give the loser a wedgie. Finally, the last three... reversal, self wedgie, and double. If you land on reversal, then the loser gives the winner a wedgie after spinning again. And of course, self wedgie is obvious. Loser has to give themselves their own wedgie, but they have to spin to see which one it is. If it’s hanging wedgie or anything like that, then we give them a helping hand. As for double, both the winner and loser get a wedgie from their own spin.”

“That is way too thorough,” Rosie murmured, her jaw dropping. “How long do the wedgies last for?”

“Assuming they don’t rip, three minutes,” Vedna answered. “For example, you have to keep an atomic on your head for that long without taking it off. If you do, then we give you another atomic and the timer starts again. If the loser’s underwear rips, then the winner has to give her money to buy some new ones. We’re pranksters, not monsters.”

Rosie turned to Mai, who gave her a shrug. “At least I won’t be getting the wedgie this time,” Mai said with a smile.

“Hey!” Rosie snapped.

“I recommend you buy the stretchiest underwear you can,” Vedna suggested. “But I get the feeling you already do.”

“Hmm,” Rosie grumbled. “I really need a job, but why wedgies of all things?”

Vedna shrugged. “I find them funny, personally. Plus, they’re a great motivator to get you off your ass.”

“This seems kind of rigged against me, don’t you think?”

“That’s kind of the idea,” Vedna pointed out. “It’s to motivate you to do better.”

“I can’t believe you’re the manager,” Rosie muttered, flabbergasted. “You’re an entire year younger than me!”

“Hey, it pays to work hard,” Vedna said with a shrug.

“And your mom owns the restaurant,” Mai added, making Vedna send a glare in her direction that scared the former.

“Even so, I still got to this position through my hard work,” Vedna stated, her left eye twitching angrily.

“Does your mom know about the wedgies?” Rosie asked curiously.

“Oh, she came up with it,” Vedna explained, making Rosie gulp. “She loves giving wedgies as much as I do.”

“Does she give you wedgies?” Rosie questioned.

“Not when I was younger,” Vedna stated. “But when I hit twenty, she started giving them to me for all the times I did it to her.”

“Do either of you have a kink for this stuff?” Rosie blurted out loud. “You two seem to know a lot about it.”

“Nah,” Vedna replied, shaking her head. “Although my dad does find my mom hot with her underwear pulled over her eyes. I’m not sure if that counts since he always finds Mom hot.”

“You have an interesting family,” Rosie observed.

“Yeah, I’ve noticed,” Vedna said with a snort. “So, when do you start? Mom isn’t really around unless it’s the end of the night shift on certain days, and that’s just to see who won and lost.”

“I can start tonight,” Rosie offered. “You got a uniform ready?”

Vedna grinned. “It’s in the back.”


“Thanks for dining here tonight,” Rosie said, faking enthusiasm as the couple sat down. “I’m Rosie. What would you like to start out tonight?”

“A water,” the black-haired man answered, looking at his menu.

“An ice tea would be fine,” the blonde woman replied with a smile.

“You got it,” Rosie replied, walking over to the soda machine in the kitchen. There were numerous cooks and chefs rushing to get the food prepared as Rosie tiptoed past her constituents to reach the machine. Vedna walked past her and smiled as a thought popped into her head. Her fingers wrapped around a black waistband peeking outside of Rosie’s jeans. With a quick tug, Vedna chuckled as she watched Rosie jump in the air. “Owie,” Rosie murmured. “What was that for?”

“Just felt like it,” Vedna said with a shrug before she walked away.

Rosie groaned as she filled the glasses up with the selected beverages. She rushed back to the couple and carefully placed them down on the booth. “There you are,” she said, pulling out a small notebook to write on. “Now, do you want any appetizers?”

“Uh... you might want to pull your pants up,” the blonde woman suggested, noticing a fabric sticking out of Rosie’s pants.

Rosie’s cheeks became crimson as she quickly stuffed her undergarments back into her jeans. “Sorry about that. A coworker of mine likes to give wedgies to the newbies...”

“Really?” the blonde woman asked, struggling not to laugh. “I might just have to get a job here if that’s the case.”

“Uh, I’m pretty sure you’d be getting the wedgies, not giving them,” Rosie pointed out.

“Oh, my bad,” the blonde woman said with a chuckle.

“Wedgies, huh?” the man observed. “That takes me back to my high school years.”

“College for me,” the woman said with a grin. “I got them all the time! Glad to see somebody still finds enjoyment out of them.”

“I wouldn’t call it enjoyable,” Rosie said with a shrug. “Unless you’re into that kind of stuff...” she said, shuddering. “So, what will you two have?”

Rosie washed her hands, taking a deep breath as she looked into the mirror. She had served a few customers already, so she was doing alright for the first night. Somebody tapped her on the shoulders, making her jump. “Ah!” she shrieked.

“Woah!” Mai said worriedly. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Sorry, I was just expecting another wedgie from Vedna,” Rosie said nervously. “What is it?”

“That’s kind of the thing,” Mai said, tapping her fingers together. “I’ve been thinking about something. Carmen beat Ami at her own game so easily. Imagine if I could do that!”

Rosie raised an eyebrow. “What are you planning?”

“Well, first I need to test my skills with giving a wedgie,” Mai explained. “Can I... give you a wedgie?”

“What?” Rosie asked, flabbergasted. “What’s in it for me?”

“I’ll give you some of my tips for tonight,” Mai stated. “I don’t care if I get a wedgie from Vedna. I just want to give you one atomic. That’s all.”

“Okay, but I’m getting you back later,” Rosie replied.

Mai nodded. “Ok,” she said, walking behind Rosie. Her fingers tightly gripped a black waistband peeking out of Rosie’s jeans. She gave a quick yank, causing Rosie to squeak. “Wow, that pattern is so cute!” Mai exclaimed, noticing the white cat prints contrasting with the black fabric. “Cats are just too adorable!”

“Hmmm,” Rosie muttered, her face turning a rosy shade of pink. “You don’t have to make comments.”

“Sorry, it’s a cute pair,” Mai apologized. “I’d love a pair like that.”

“Well, nobody’s going to see it,” Rosie pointed out.

“Please, I get wedgies every day,” Mai scoffed. “I want a cute pattern that’ll make people jealous.”

“Will you just give me an atomic?” Rosie asked. “I’d rather that than hear this.”

“Sorry,” Mai apologized once more. She continued pulling the stretchy fabric up Rosie’s back, making the latter groan. “Wow, these are big!” she stated, noticing the stretchiness of the material. “I bet you could pull off a double atomic at this rate!”

“This isn’t a sports game, stop being a commentator,” Rosie demanded, becoming more and more vexed.

“Fine,” Mai grumbled, placing more emphasis in her next yank.

“Eep!” Rosie yelped, feeling a jolt of pain zap her rear. The fabric soon reached past her neck, making Rosie bite her tongue. Why did I agree to this again? Mai shot her arms into the air, launching the fabric over Rosie’s messy hair, making the latter squeak once more. Those tips had better be worth it. The material covered her glasses in darkness and cute cats, slithering past her nose instantly. Ugh, I should probably shower later, she realized when the fabric passed by her nostrils. How much farther is this going to go? Mai chuckled as she finished the job, hooking the waistband onto the chin. For fun, she tugged on the stretched out leg holes to hear Rosie groan.

“Thanks, Rosie! You’re the best!” Mai exclaimed, wrapping her arms around Rosie. “That was great! I feel ready to get back at Ami!”

Rosie sighed as she accepted the pain striking her neck. I am so getting her back for this, she thought to herself. She pulled the fabric off her head, letting the material droop past her ankles. “I’m ripping your underwear when I can,” she said simply.

“I’ve always got spares!” Mai said optimistically.

Rosie sighed. “I’ll rip those too...” She was normally pretty cheerful, but she had had enough with wedgies for today.

“Good job, ladies,” Vedna stated, counting her tips as it reached 1 AM. “Looks like I win... again.”

“You always win,” Mai pointed out.

“Then you just need to try harder,” Vedna said with a shrug. “So how did you two do?”

“Looks like I got second place,” Rosie said with a grin. “Sorry, Mai.”

Mai shrugged. “Eh, I’m used to it. I might win next time. Who knows?”

Vedna grinned as she cracked her knuckles. She went back into the kitchen and rolled out a multi-colored wheel. She gave the wheel a heave, watching it rotate endlessly for several seconds. Maybe it won’t be too bad, Mai thought with an ounce of hope in her heart. The wheel came to a stop, terrifying her as she clamped her eyes shut.

“Ah, the classic,” Vedna stated. “Shoulder wedgie.” Mai let out a sigh as she walked up to Vedna. The latter gripped the white fabric sticking out of her jeans and grinned. Vedna lifted her arms into the air, making Mai let out a sudden yelp as the floral printed undergarments easily stretched up her stomach. She wrenched Mai’s undergarments over the latter’s shoulders, smiling as she released her grip on the leg holes. “You know, I think this is a good look for you,” Vedna joked.

“I need a drink,” Mai groaned as she accepted being enclosed by her own underwear, making Rosie laugh. Mai waddled over to the bar and reached the glass of vodka she had been drinking from. Her left arm got caught on her underwear’s leg hole, forcing her to struggle to grab the glass. She sighed as she took a sip from the glass. There’s not enough alcohol in the world to make wedgies enjoyable for me…

Ami walked into the gym, wearing a pair of pink yoga pants, a light blue tank top, and red sneakers. She had figured she needed something to do after working at the local Publix all day. She had recently found the gym and decided to give it a shot. Normally, she lifted weights in her own apartment, but she had grown bored of training alone. She had paid for a personal training session with the coach and she hoped for the best. Her eyes widened in horror as she saw her trainer. “Oh, hell no!” Ami shrieked, wrapping her arms around herself. “Not you again.”

“Sorry to disappoint you,” Carmen said with a chuckle, putting down her hand weights. She wore black sweatpants and a matching tank top. She let out a sigh as she wiped sweat from her brow. “I’m the only trainer around at the moment.”

“Is it possible to get a refund?” Ami asked quickly.

“No, it’s in the fine print if you had bothered to read it,” Carmen pointed out, placing a hand to her hip.

“You’re not going to give me another wedgie, are you?” Ami asked worriedly.

“Depends,” Carmen replied, patting Ami on the shoulder. “Are you going to be messing with your sister again?”

Ami quickly shook her head. “Nope! I promise.”

Carmen smiled. “Good. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go.” She pointed to the bathroom to her right and walked into the single stall, closing the door behind her. That lady needs to get a grip, Carmen thought to herself. Then again, I’m one to talk. She looked to herself in the mirror and grinned. She pulled out a pink waistband out of her pants as a dopey grin appeared on her face. There was a secret she intended to take to her grave: she absolutely idolized the experience of getting a wedgie. She could not find a specific reason as to why she liked the feeling of her underwear being jolted up her rear or even her stomach. She supposed there was something enjoyable about the pain, controlling how much she could endure and keep going when she felt that she could take it.

The challenge excited her. Another reason may have been the embarrassment factor. She wore the most feminine color she could find: pink. While she was not the most feminine woman, she enjoyed seeing the color blanket her vision when she pulled the waistband over her nose. She viewed the embarrassment as a test: seeing how much she could take before she crumbled. Most of the time, she remained in the wedgie as long as she could. Although she was torn on a particular issue. She enjoyed feeling the fabric tear in half for the fact that a clothing she normally wore was no longer there, but she also enjoyed wedgies that could last as long as she desired. Some days she enjoyed the fabric ripping and others she was disappointed.

She wrapped her fingers around the hot pink waistband and slowly lifted the fabric up her back. Her bottom tightened in anticipation, the fabric slowly crawling up her back. She bit her tongue as she resisted the urge to moan. She continued tugging, the waistband now reaching her neck. “Almost there,” she murmured, barely able to contain her excitement. She had recently purchased more stretchy pairs of undergarments so that her sessions would not end so soon. The underwear was not stretched out enough yet for the wedgie to become comfortable, but that was a fate she was willing to accept. She wondered what an atomic wedgie while watching TV would be like.

The fabric now launched itself past her curly hair, exciting her even more. After a long day of a workout, she supposed she could have used a shower. However, she would save that for later. The waistband crawled past her hair, approaching her eyes. The stink was both revolting and tempting to her nostrils. The material slithered over her eyes, making her sigh in relief. “Oh, yeah...” she muttered, hooking the waistband underneath her nose. Her neck strained back as pink cloaked her eyes completely. She completely adored the color pink. There was a certain beauty to the color, especially when the color encapsulated her daily pastime. She would sneak away before her session with her customers and give herself a new wedgie every day. Today was Friday, where her hands, or “friends” as she liked to call them, were more than willing to aid her kink. This is just too perfect... The atomic is always the best way to end the week…

The door slowly creaked open, making her heart stop. “What the HELL?” Ami shrieked.

Carmen’s cheeks flushed red as she struggled to move. “Uh... I can explain...”