Woke Christmas

Woke Christmas

(with abject apologies to the shade of Bing Crosby)

 
I'm dreaming of a Woke Christmas,
Where snowflakes crucify The Pogues.
With the Proms dismantled,
And Rowling cancelled,
And statues shattered in the snow.

I'm dreaming of a Woke Christmas,
Trans-women pugilists delight!
Your gold medals shining so briiight!
(Maimed opponents must respect your rights).

I'm dreaming of a Woke Christmas,
Caucasian symbols crash and fall!
With no love thy neighbour,
No whitewashed saviour,
No Christianity at all.

I'm dreaming of a Woke Christmas,
Bad jokes from crackers we won't cite.
And a blackface Santa's not right -
So please clean your chimneys every night.

I'm dreaming of a Woke Christmas,
Cos if you feel it then it's true.
So we'll worship Israel,
And forward this tale:
'All anti-Zionists hate Jews'.

I'm dreaming of a Woke Christmas,
In each street-protest, day and night.
Where corona-spreading's alright,
Because black rights matter more than life.

I'm dreaming of a Woke Christmas,
Where Fawlty Towers we'll never know.
With no Danny Baker,
That smug piss taker,
The monkey we insist must go.

I'm dreaming of a Woke Christmas,
With every cis bastard I smite.
May your ways be very uptiiiiiight!
And may all offended peeps be... whiiite.