The Fairy in my Pocket

The Fairy in my Pocket 645 words

I have always believed in fairies. As a small child mother would tell me tales of the wee folk. I would go to sleep picturing the tiny people with their shiny wings and their magic wands. I would dress in a pink tutu with wire wings and carry a glittery plastic star on a stick. I would wave it in the air and make wishes. Even when I outgrew the costume I still searched the woods for fairy rings. I always hoped to meet one but never really believed that would happen.

It was my thirtieth birthday; the Big Three O. My friends and I went to a club to celebrate. We were all dressed in the adult version of fairy costumes. Mine was a shocking pink tutu over green leggings and a revealing strappy top. Five cocktails later I found myself making friends with the porcelain.

A distant voice said "Who do you think you are?" I looked around but there was nobody there. "Oy, down here." I looked down the side of the toilet. About six inches tall and dressed in a green catsuit was this creature. Not young, svelt and beautiful like the fairies of my youth, this one was fat and fifty. "Your giving us fairies a bad name," she shouted up at me.

"I'm sorry but who are you to talk," I argued back. "Look at you. You must weigh, what, half a stone?" Her green face turned an acid yellow.

"I'll have you know I've lost weight. I'm down to five and a half pounds." She attempted to take off but her fluttering wings only lifted her about half an inch before she crashed back down and landed on her backside, legs akimbo. I could not help laughing. " 'snot funny," she cried out as she struggled to her feet rubbing her rear.

"Well, do I get a wish or what?" I asked her.

"You can have three if you do as you're told," she ordered.

"What do I have to do then?" I asked.

"First you can get me out of this smelly toilet," she said. I lifted her and put her in my pocket. "Now take me to your home. I think you've had enough for tonight." On that we agreed. I said goodnight to my friends and staggered to the taxi rank.

"Guess what I've got in my pocket," I slurred at the taxi driver.

"Your fare I hope."
I laughed. "Wrong!" I felt a sudden pain in my side. The fat fairy kicked me. I guess she didn't want me to tell. I made the rest of the trip home in silence.

I fumbled in my handbag for the key. "Oh come on love, get a move on; I'm freezing," I got punched this time. Once inside I collapsed onto the sofa.

"God, I wish my head would stop spinning," I said without thinking.

"Your wish is my command." With a wave of her wand the spinny feeling went away.

"Right, now you're feeling better get me something to eat." I did not like her attitude.

"What's the magic word?" I said.

"That's for me to know," she replied. "Now where's the grub?"

I looked around the kitchen and decided that a fairy cake was appropriate. I presented it to my visitor. "Didn't I tell you I was on a diet," she reprimanded. I threw a wet lettuce leaf at her. My head was throbbing and I didn't need this stroppy mare.

"I wish this headache would go away." Shazam, instant relief.

"Have you got a bed for me?" the fat fairy asked. I put her on one of the cushions. "Blanket?" she demanded. I threw a hanky in her direction. I began to wonder if this was worth the hassle.

"I wish you would just go away." And she did.