The Anticipated Guest

The Anticipated Guest

She was waiting for him to call her at any moment. "He said he was going to call!" she said out loud." "Where is he?" Dinner was supposed to be at 7 but it was already 7:30. She had the roast in the oven, the green beans on the stove, the potatoes steaming in a basket and the salad tossed in a bowl. Now all she needed was the guest of honor. Her new, soon to be, boyfriend.
Oh, how he made her swoon. She couldn't wait to see him again. At the grocery store he came up to her and asked her what time it was. She looked at him and saw his red beard and broke into a wide smile and said to his face without hesitation "I love your red beard!" and I love your cute butt!" The man smiled under his bushy red mustache and blushed under his red heavy curly beard. "Well ma’am, just for that I'm going to have to buy you dinner." "Oh no, it's my treat!" “Come to my house at 7 and I will bake you the best meal of your life!" They exchanged phone numbers and went about their shopping occasionally eyeing each other amorously in the aisles.
A knock on the door brought her back to the present. She opened the door realizing it was her guest. Holding a bouquet of yellow roses, he stood anxiously at the door waiting to be asked in. “Well come on in!” She said exuberantly. “Well, okay.” he said. “I thought I’d bring you some flowers.” “Why thank you very much.” She said. “That is so kind of you.” All of the sudden she couldn’t stop sneezing. “Oh no! are you allergic to roses? He cried apologetically. She replied “No, I don’t know what it could be!” “Sit down and make yourself comfortable.” She said while she was coughing up a storm. She went over to the tissue box and grabbed a whole wad of tissues and began blowing her nose. As she did so her arm hit the side of the table and she fell on the floor. He got up from the table and went to help her up but then he fell to the floor too.
The bang from their falls made the door to the oven open, and the roast fall out all over their bodies. All the sudden she realized she had forgotten she had left the stove on and the pot of green beans began to bubble and bubble then pop! the pot tipped over and the green beans spilled all over the floor. He tried rolling over to catch the pot while she was trying to stop the roast from rolling over and burning of them but the pot rolled out of his hands and the green beans were mashing into his back. Her stomach was now on the floor squishing the potatoes that has escaped from the basket when the pot tipped.
Both of them just lied there realizing what happened. They looked at each other and saw food on their faces, on themselves, and all over the room. “Well, we can eat what is left over!” he said noticing that they would have to eat everything that fell on the floor. “Well, there’s my dinner for you!” She cried out loud. Then they both noticed something in the far corner of the room. There stood the salad bowl untouched. Well, looks like we eat light tonight!