Chamber of Infident alternatives - One

This is it. I am lightheaded my vision had become unfocused. The paramedic is still talking but I can no longer hear what she saying. A numbing sensation has beset my entire body and I can feel my internal organs failing. Everything is shutting down. There are only moments left. I desperately want to cling to life, but there is nothing I can do to prevent its termination.

Spots dance before me like television static for a brief period and then darkness descends. My eyelids close. The light headed sensation intensifies. I can no longer feel the breeze or even the cold concrete below. It’s as if the world has ceased to be.

Fear overwhelms me as the lightheaded sensation desists and I am left in a pitch black void of nothingness. Relativity has suddenly lost its significance. There is no up or down, or any direction for that matter; and the silence, it’s almost deafening.

I am no longer aware of my body, but my mind still functioning. My thoughts extend to those I have left behind and I worry how they will react to my departure. Some will be traumatised, whilst others perhaps will consider my absence to be of no real consequence

It’s an unsettling sensation just lingering within nothingness. So much of life is full of schedules and abstract business. I have a constant fear that someone will appear soon and chide my inactivity. Yet time is irrelevant within this void. It offers neither a past nor a future. There is only the inactive now. For all I know several years may have passed and the body I left behind is decomposing beneath the soil. Perhaps it’s been turned to ash.

Despite the absence of relativity I am aware of movement, that is to say I am not static. Something is drawing me forwards at an incredibly fast speed toward looks to be a tiny speck far-far away. Perhaps it’s a light at the end of the tunnel? Or maybe it is the start of that proverbial tunnel that others with near death experiences insist upon travelling through.
I’m confused now. How am I seeing this if I no longer possess any eyes? Weren’t they part of my body that I left behind? My soul, for the want of a better description of what I have become, must have its own way of seeing things. It therefore has some sort of brain that is allowing me to think all these thoughts. So I suppose awareness lives on even after death. If this was not the case I would not even be aware of my non-existence.

Yes, I am definitely heading forwards. That speck seems to be getting bigger. Its shimmering circumference has a very light shade of yellow, whilst the clear radius, though absent of any real colour, somehow sparkles like a diamond. The force which is propelling me is starting to intensify. I think it must be originating from that…whatever it is up ahead.

As the dot continues to expand I regain a sense of proportion and even a vague measurement time. An eager expectation fills me, like a child travelling to a brand new toy store, as I try and imagine what dimension or even alternate life exists beyond it.

I am now very close and the expanse’s girth is mind bogglingly big. Most of the radius is still dazzling with light flares shooting in all direction. I can also see a multitude of black spots of varying geometric shapes swarming about the place like energetic bees.

There is a slight clearing into which I have been drawn and I find quickly find myself on the opposite side. I look around and see the clearing gradually close, and then when I return my gaze I find myself in a much scarier void. The previous darkness and sensation of movement has vanished. I am literally suspended in a void of complete nothingness. Even my thoughts seem intrusive of its silence.

What the hell just happened? What is this; Eternity of vaguely existing within non-existence? I want to go back from whence I came or at least somewhere that I can make sense of. I need structure, a purpose, a…wait a minute.

Do you hear that? Voices; faint, oh so very faint, yet not imagined. Yes, there are entities talking. They sound somehow familiar, yet at the same time long forgotten. Could they be my ancestors or people that visited me in my infancy, or close friends and relatives I long ago lost? If I exist within this void of nothingness surely there must be others, or does everyone have their own personal expanse to pass through when they die?

My mind is weakening and I am starting to forget my expired life. One by one the names of those closest to me fade from my memory. I cannot remember what my wife or kids look like or where I lived or worked. It’s like waking from a dream and being distracted then forgetting what you were dreaming of. I am sure my own name will soon be shrouded in mystery.

Something very odd is happening. The nothingness is fading away revealing a rocky exterior. Going, going…gone. I am now standing in the middle of a dark chamber, similar to that of a cavern. Ahead of me is a narrow passageway, lit with a series of burning torches. It stretched back a long way and I cannot see any sign of an exit at the end. Not even a dot.

The distant voices continue. They echo down the passageway like ancient sirens from Greek Mythology; but I cannot understand what they are saying. I feel the need to investigate otherwise the curiosity will drive me insane for all eternity. It is a journey I must take.

There is a dank musty smell about the passageway and I can feel the warmth of each burning torch as I pass. The surrounding walls are damp and have the texture of pumas. Here and there are small crevices from which moisture oozes. I can hear the echoing footsteps. Everything suggests I have somehow regained a body, of sorts. How is this possible? It’s not... or should I say it wasn’t. If this is a different reality then I must be prepared to accept inconsistencies in logic.

The passage way is getting narrower and has started twisting; left-right, left-right, right-right-left. Then it straightens again. I am walking, walking and now I see a dark granite archway inscribed with images of weird creatures. To the left of this is a small spherical structure upon which sat a water-pump whilst on the right was a large red bolder.

I have come to a halt and now stare spellbound by the site of this archway. There is something familiar about it; something significant. It has arrested my attention and seems to prompting a long forgotten memory, from the deepest depths of my sub-conscience…