Behavior Facility Chapter

         Yes, I have had some major behavior issues lately. Who wouldn't if anyone who has been through what I have been through, right? Really, sending me to a mental facility is just being overly dramatic. I don't need to be here. Yes, I did just recently get rescued from my Father for the millionth time, with the abuse that I am dealing with from when I was with my father, it is normal for me to be acting like this. Of course, they say that, "This is not the normal for you after we rescue you. You are acting way different than normal." They don't understand what I have been through. What I had to go through and what I survived.
         Yes, I may not remember everything that happened to me, but it doesn't mean that I can't freak out. I have freaked out before and they have never sent me to a behavior facility. What is so different this time? Nothing!
         They are saying that this place is the best and that I shouldn't be here long. It is to help me get "stabilized" and "back on track". Dr. ___ says that they will be helping me with making sure my medicine is correct and teaching me coping skills to deal with what I have been through. Like that is going to help me at all. He also says that the therapists here are the best and will "help me process my trauma". I don't need to process it, I need to just forget my trauma!

         "Alex, this place will be good for you."
         "How do you know?"
         "Because they have helped many teenagers like yourself."
         "So, you know they have helped many teenagers that have been kidnapped by their adoptive fathers who have escaped from jail many times over the years just to 'teach them a lesson'. Father's that are on the FBI's Most Wanted list?! I didn't know that there were that many guys out there just like my Father!"
         "If you put it that way, then no. They do however help teenagers that have attempted suicide, like you, teenagers and children who have been abused and assaulted, like you."
         "I DID NOT attempt suicide! I was just trying to distract myself from all of the other pain! It just happened to work a little too well."
         "Alex, you have never done anything like that ever. Don't you understand that? You have thought about it and have hurt yourself, but you have never attempted suicide before. Do you understand that is why you are here?"
         "Yes, I know I have thought about it and have hurt myself and have attempted suicide before and you know it."
         "True, but it was never this extreme before. You never tried to slit your wrists before, you have cut them, but never slit them."
         "Yes, I have. I just forgot and put too much pressure on the razor. You have seen my arms, legs, and stomach, you know I have."
         "Yes, true. Like you said, you 'forgot and put too much pressure' that is why we are here. We are all worried about you."
         "You don't need to be. I will be fine on my own. I don't need therapy, besides if you remember correctly, it never worked very well in the past. I don't think anyone wants a repeat."
         "True, we don't, but give it a chance. We can let the therapist that will be assigned to you know. That was they can be careful. Plus, from the information I was given, the therapist's here, I believe, only use talk therapy and nothing else."
         "You believe? In the past, my PTSD episodes happened when we were ONLY talking as well."
         "We can double check and warn them to be cautious," ____ says as I give him a nasty look. "Don't give me that look. Give this place a chance. They can help get your medication's in order. Think about this, what has happened in the past when we have tried to get the right combination of medicine?"
         "Suicide attempts, rage, extreme depression, voices, seeing things, uncontrollable anger, and nervous breakdown."
         "Exactly, so if you are in a safe place while we get your medications right, then you will be safe. The staff here will be better equipped to help you than me or anyone else."
         "Okay, true. I still don't want to be here," I say very annoyed. I know he has gotten me there with that point. I cannot argue with that logic. "I cannot argue with that, but I do have my coping strategies that works for me. What if something happens or I can feel something coming on and they won't let me use my coping strategies? What then?"
         "We will just have to inform them on what will happen if they don't. Along, with what to do if you do have an episode. They need to be prepared on what might happen. They should be prepared just in case." He pulls me toward him and gives me a comforting hug. "Okay?"
         "Okay," I push him away, not liking being touched. "Let's go inside."
         We walk to the front doors and walk inside. "Wait!" I stop in my tracks, "what about Jethro? What if they won't let him stay with me," I say as I pet Jethro's head.
         "He is a service dog for both medical and psychological purposes. They should understand that. Besides, I already warned them about Jethro, and they told me that they would be just fine with him being here with you."
         "Are you sure?"
         "Yes, I am sure."
         "Okay." I feel a relief of pressure now that they know about Jethro and are fine with him. I think I am ready now. I think I am ready now.
         As we walk through the doors, once again, we are greeted by a man and a woman. "Hi, you must be Alexandra," the woman says.
         "Alex, not Alexandra."
         "Okay then Alex, nice to meet you. My name is Nina, I am your Unit Coordinator for your unit. This is Richard, he will be your case manager while you are here. Do you know what that means?"
         "Yes, he will be the one in charge of my case and my time here." He reached his hand out and I shook it.
         "Exactly. Let's get started." She looks down and I realize that she is just noticing Jethro. "No dogs are allowed on the premises."
         I glare at ____, "you said that they knew about Jethro! If they are not going to allow him to stay, then I am refusing to stay here!" I turn around and start to walk out, but the door is locked, "let me out!" The door still is not opening.
         I hear ___ talking to the Unit Coordinator and my case manager. "I was informed that it was okay for her to have him here. He is her service dog for both medical and psychological reasons. He is very important to her." I hear and "Okay" and flipping through papers and a "oh here it is, yes, I see that the dog was approved." ___ turns to me "see, Jethro is good to go, can we please continue?"
         I take a deep breath, "okay, but another thing that this and I am not going to come back." I am walked into a conference room. There is a therapist there, my Unit Coordinator, the nurse, the psychologist, and my case manager. Plus, they tell me that a dietary specialist will come talk to me later. They are all talking and asking about my history, my medicine and everything about me. I just sit there petting Jethro's head. This is taking forever! When is this going to be over? "Alex!" "What?!" a little bit more aggressive than I intended.
         "We were talking about treatment goals that you need to work on," my new therapist said.
         "What about them?"
         "What do you think of the one's we talked about? Did you even hear them?" she said.
         "No, I did not. What do you think are good goals for me again?"
         "Aggression, family relationships, self-injury behavior, noncompliance, and mood regulation," she said.
         "All of them are fine except for the family relationships and noncompliance. I don't have issues with the families I am placed with unless they are abusive, they have issues with me. And I am compliant."
         "You can be when you are not in a mood, but I think the noncompliance would be something good for you to work on as well. I will agree with you on the family relationship, we do not need it. She has good relationships with the people she works with, and those are the people she is with the most."
         "Sounds good to me. So, we have aggression, self-injury behavior, noncompliance, and mood regulation as treatment team goals," the therapist said.
         "All that is left is paperwork," Richard said. He starts informing us about what each form means and is for. We start signing the forms, "This one is to allow us to get your records from your school, so you can keep up with your school work."
         __ chimed in, "that is fine, but she has already graduated high school. So, there is need to worry about that."
         "Is she attending college? We are asking because from 8:20am to 3:00pm she will be attending school with her peers."
         "No, not at the moment, but if she needs something to keep her busy during the school day, then we can provide her with work like we have in the past."
         "Has she been placed in a residential facility before?"
         "No, but when she has been in the hospital for long periods of time, the FBI has provided her with work. So, she has something to keep her busy."
         "What kind of work would you have her work on? Because we have to make sure that if other students see it, we have to make sure that it would not trigger another resident."
         "She will be working on active cases and providing the case agent with a fresh set of eyes. It doesn't trigger her, but I'm not sure about other residents."
         "For the moment that will not be necessary, we will talk to the education department and talk about what she can do during school hours. If they think that is a good idea, we will let you know."
         "Sounds good," he says as he signs the release of education records and passes it over to me to sign. I sign it and hand it over to Richard. I can tell that I am going to be bored during the school day already and I have not even started the program. I knew this was going to be a good idea.
         "That is the last of the paperwork," Richard says.
         I turn to look at ___. "You said you will inform them."
         "Yes, you are right. Do you want to step out or stay?"
         "Really step out? No, I will stay."
         "Okay, so