Achoo!

"Unexpected package for the President, Sir."

"Where's it from Sergeant?"

"United States Postal Service, Sir."

"Which country is it from?"

"Post marked Virginia, Sir."

"Has it been scanned, Sergeant?"

"With the hand scanner, Sir. No metal in evidence, Sir."

"Give it to me." The Sergeant at Arms passed the package to Agent Malone. The agent carried it along a dark corridor. At the end, in a pool of light, guarded by two armed men, was a steel door.

"At ease," he ordered. A keypad was punched and the door slid open. Inside was a soldier with a German Shepherd straining at the leash. Malone held out the package for the dog to sniff. It failed to bark.

"No explosives present, Sir." Malone proceeded to a metal barred gate.

"Package for the President," he announced to a fellow agent. The parcel was passed through the bars. Something was mumbled into a headset. Two other agents appeared from a door that was out of sight. One took the package, whilst the other guarded with his drawn weapon.

"Elevator to first floor, code Xray Zulu Oner Niner." As the doors opened the two men entered. "Elevator to third floor, code Xray Zulu Three Four." The elevator whirred as it rose. The doors opened on two armed agents. "Package for the Chief."

"Pass."

"I wonder what it is?" the first agent said, giving it a squeeze. He tossed it to the other man.

"A flag, maybe ..."

"A soft toy from some little kid ..."

"Some randy lady's dirty panties ..." They both laughed as they took bets on the contents. They became professionals again as they entered an ornate, carpeted hallway.

"Package for the Chief, Sir." He passed the parcel to his senior who carried it up to the door of the oval office. An older man in a sharp suit took the package and knocked on the door.

"Come."

"A package for you, Sir." The President took the package. He grabbed his letter opener and ripped open the parcel. Inside was a bundle of used tissues.

"What the ...?"

At that moment the German Shepherd started coughing and sneezing and gasping for breath.

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