Not Laughing Through The Tears

There is something to be said
About puddles of warm tears
Filling the space in my bed
When I am alone with my fears.

About puddles of warm tears
That I can’t silently cry for you,
When alone and no one hears.
And I know not what else to do.

Filling the space in my bed,
loneliness and seas of sadness,
All because of words I said,
Still hurt me, nonetheless.

When I am alone with my fears
Waiting for laughter to come,
Mirth, not the cruelty of jeers.
I wonder at what I have become.