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This is my first day "blogging" I hope you enjoy and stick around! |
Hi! Now I hate the word mental "illness" because if you walk up to someone and say that you have a mental "illness" they always resort to psychopaths,sociopaths and murderers. Lets be honest most people do think that. I should know my middle school is honestly filled with those type of people. I'm currently in therapy for mainly my PTSD because well who wants a bunch of bad thoughts and voices following them? But I don't have schizophrenia because I know who it is trapped in my head and those bad thoughts are more like flashbacks. I also forgot to add that I'm giving myself insomnia. By that I mean whenever I fall asleep I get trapped in a different flashback that I cant escape from. I feel paralyzed and I'm helpless and then when I wake up she is right there. Either over me,below me, next to me or literally anywhere. This causes already one of my many panic attacks a day. Now you might be wondering "What happened and who is she?" I was abused by my grandmother for 8 years. Yes my grandmother and I know your thinking "How could a little old granny abuse a kid?" Well you'd be very shocked then because I was neglected,teased,beat up and threatened even. She was more like a viper and I was the mouse. After all I was 4 years old and had no idea that she was being a bad person. But I still believe all that she's told me and it will probably be stuck in my head forever. I'm not being dramatic when I say that. It's been with me even now 8 years later. But I am getting help and my therapist is really cool. |