Die Alone

It was a Sunny day and I was sitting at the school's compound enjoying my morning coffee. As always I was trying not to give attention to anything around me. I am a kind of person who thinks by not paying attention and not getting attached to people or things that you can save your self from an unnecessary disappointment. So I try my best not to get involved and get used with a lot of things.

That day you came out of no where and started annoying me. I still don't remember the things you said at first. But I remember that I was trying my best to make you go away. But a while later I realized you came prepared and that it was impossible to make you go away. I really didn't like that because I was in no condition willing to get to know another human being who I should give a fake smile and a wave at the hall ways. I just didn't know how to say so. While thinking about that a certain someone came to us and started talking to you and didn't even care if he was interrupting our conversation. Sometimes people made me feel as if I have a superpower of being invisible. And most of the time I enjoy that and I feel as if I can do anything without people noticing. Then I tried to use the opportunity to left unnoticed but you grabbed me by my left hand and I slightly turn your way. You gave me the "where do you think you're going" face and asked me to sit and wait for you a little. You said you got something important to talk about.

I sat back just for the sake of you letting go of my hand. Then what you said kind of started worrying me because I never for once in my life had anything important to talk about with anyone at school. That was very strange. I started to think of all the possible reasons that got me to the situation and how I could get out of it. Then I tried to remember if we had any class together then came to the conclusion that you just wanted to talk about a certain issue from one of the many clubs in the school since the only place I remembered seeing you was at these school event organized by some students in a certain club and which the teachers forced all the other students to attend. But then you interrupted me, you touched my hand again and I got shocked and annoyed at the same time. I told you to stop touching me and say what you wanted to say. Then I foud my self in a long lasting conversation. Strangely I wasn't annoyed as I expected. I rather found my self totally enjoying the conversation.

That was the day you found me. Just like that you came into my life an invited. I clearly remember every single thing about that day. Then it became so hard to made you stay far for me. We started hanging out a lot. We then became inseparable. It only took you weeks to made me weaver. I still wonder how it was possible but you made me fall for you so easily. I used to believe that there was no such a thing as love. I always thought I am someone who could never love or be loved. And I let you to made me change my mind. I will say it again I fall for you easily. I was completely lost in you. Yet I didn't have the courage to admit it for a while. But I completely gave in when you asked if I wanted to die alone. I never answered that but you knew what I was thinking. You said you would leave only if I wanted to die alone and that you were so sure that we could only work with one another and with no other person. You promised not to left my side once I let you in. Then you completely changed me. I became all about you. And I liked it. I still have a hard time believing that it was really me loving another human being like that or if it was a dream. You made me the happiest person in the world. You made me share my fears and my deepest secrets with you. You made me regret the time I wasted hating even the idea of love. But then again it didn't took you long to made me remember why I hated it in the first place. I wasn't looking for you but you found me and just to left me. And incase you're wondering, I still don't want to die alone.