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A deeply dark and personal poem about my terrifying past life as a victim in every way. |
Prescot and Main by Keaton Foster Prescot And Main Intersecting Cutting through Dividing up Breaking in two One side I lived The other I died Back home Back then I was just a kid There was a man A friendly neighbor Across the way His name Matters not His relation All but speculation His inclination Young boys He was not gay Just sadistic Not straight But rather bent Damn near broken A monster In human form I knew him Not because I wished But rather because I was forced A hell of a thing To be forced Into anything Any situation Or reclamation My mother and he Best of friends So, did it seem My sisters and she Doting fools Playing along Devine said rules He was And dare I say Still is A man of God The preacher The pastor A child rapist But for some reason Some unknown season I was his only poison There were no others Just me Just I I would be sent Made to go Across the street Beyond the divide Mother would say Go see him Do as he insist As you must Close your eyes Pray to your own God As you appease that devil You are my child But in the same guise You are a sin A mistake not meant I broke the rules of marriage And the convictions of faith My cheating on your father You are the byproduct of sin And thus, a sin of existence I feel I must sacrifice you In the name of redemption If need be disguised As child molestation Further she would add He can clean my stains By devouring you as his I’ve never wanted you But at least someone does I would go As told Across Prescot and Main To the basement Of the biggest house In our hometown A mansion for one A prison for the same There he’d be A beast in waiting A man in the mood For some serious raping A sick son of a bitch Hell bent on getting his I was his kind Young, weak And all but paid for Not with cash Jewels, or gold But rather a barter A sick sort of give And take I’d close my eyes Scream inside As did what he wished It hurt more than pain It hurt more than words It made me numb Of everything human It went on for years Until one day A few days shy of my Last days as a child He was at church In the middle of a service The house was packed My mother sat in the front My sisters by her side I sat in the back In the furthest corner I could be shoved Everyone shouted Amen As he ended each line They believed his Hypocritical lecturing Of course, not I He went on and on Until his face was red Unit his brow poured wet And then, just as simple As it all seems He dropped dead His eyes rolled back As his body went limp He fell flat on his face Everyone began to scream My mother, my sisters Cried out loud Of course, not I I whispered to myself As I stepped from the corner In which I was meant Amen! Written by Keaton Foster Copyright © 2008-2019 Synopsis This poem is a haunting exploration of existential despair, the weight of personal failure, and the struggle to find meaning in a world that seems devoid of purpose. It uses stark imagery and evocative language to convey a sense of emptiness and hopelessness. Analysis: Emptiness and Brokenness: The poem opens with imagery of hollowness, brokenness, and emptiness, both within the self and in the world ("Hollow thy bone / Broken said home / Emptied spaces / Craterous nations"). This sets a tone of desolation and decay. Devoid of Meaning: The portrayal of life as devoid of meaning and reason reflects a deep sense of existential nihilism ("Devoid of meaning / Subjective / Such reason"). This suggests a disillusionment with the inherent value of existence. Personal Failure and Regret: The narrator expresses feelings of failure and regret, acknowledging their own mistakes and the weight of past decisions ("I have failed / Them all / Thyself"). This self-awareness adds a layer of introspection to the poem's themes. Gravity of Existence: The metaphor of gravity pulling at the narrator symbolizes the relentless force of existence, dragging them down into despair and darkness ("Gravity that is / Pulling at us / Never does it stop"). Descent into Darkness: The narrator describes descending into darkness, both literally and metaphorically, unable to rise above their circumstances ("Down I have gone / Looking up I remain"). This imagery underscores the sense of powerlessness and entrapment. Ambiguity of Humanity: There is a portrayal of humanity as both capable and monstrous, with individuals reaching out with "tedious tentacles" to drag others down ("People, quite capable / Evil monsters / Abhorrent spectacles"). This ambiguity highlights the complexity of human nature. Isolation and Disconnection: The poem concludes with a sense of isolation and disconnection from others and the self ("I cannot stand / For any of you / Or my own damn self"). This reinforces the narrator's sense of alienation and despair. Interpretation: The poem can be interpreted as a deeply personal reflection on the experience of grappling with inner turmoil, external pressures, and the existential weight of existence. It captures the profound sense of disillusionment and despair that can arise when confronted with the perceived meaninglessness of life. The imagery of brokenness and emptiness serves as a metaphor for the narrator's emotional and spiritual state, while the metaphor of gravity represents the inescapable pull of existence. The acknowledgment of personal failure and regret adds a layer of vulnerability to the narrative, highlighting the universal struggle to find purpose and redemption in the face of adversity. Overall, the poem paints a bleak yet powerful portrait of the human condition, exploring themes of isolation, despair, and the relentless search for meaning in a world that often feels devoid of it. |