Pretenting untill suicide

OH MY GOD . HE is dead said an aunty
Excuse me what happened there said a man and many other come to listen to this aunty
It was a accident a boy was hit by truck when he was crossing road he felt down and suddenly a fast moving tuck come in and crushed him to death aunty said
Please call the police . Said the man behind aunty
Someone has called police and inspector with some cops arrived and said what happened here and after looking at body he said oh no , how did this happened and the aunty repeated he was crossing road and fell down on road, suddenly a fast moving truck came and .....
Ok do you remember the truck number said inspector
No I really don't , actually the truck was so fast I can't saw the number
Ok said inspector and put on gloves and checked the body and removed wallet
Kamil BSC nursing ......,.....said inspector in low tune and said loudly call ambulance and send the body for postmortem
Yes sir said one of the cops




Do you know who is this kamil ...?


Ok I will tell you .

Kamil as a teen boy studying in class 10th in a govt. School in a backward village. He is short and slim but looks average. He is working hard to pass the board exam. The school kamil was in has a record of producing 20 to 30% results in board exam , this make kamil a little bit depressed but finally he passed exam.
Kamil is in trouble....! Which feild he will choose now Science or maths or arts. Parents have their own plans . Kamil has been pushed into science like every village father want his son to become doctor kamil's dad does same. Unknowningly kamil's dad put kamil in mouth of depression and anxiety . Luckly the first year in medical is not under board so exam is little easy but next year he has to undergo board exam.
These two years are important for kamil because he learned to pretend in these two years. These are the years which are full of memories for kamil but those memories which everyone want to forget. You know why?
Because
First year is the year kamil realised that he is becoming black as he was white earlier , he realised he is short and slim which he don't like and thought no one like , also he realised he is not able to understand physics and chemistry and so on . The only choice he has in his mind is to pretend he is understanding all very well otherwise people around will make fun of him. All his classmates were having girlfriends but kamil was single and has no hope he can make one ....... The inferiority complex has make space in kamil's mind. Kamil start lieing about every thing , his family, capabilities , love life , friends , at the same time his neighbor child's were in same school so they were breaking his lies. So kamil decided to run away from school as soon as he will pass first year.
Kamil passed first year and he go a little far from family into other district where he knows no body and no body knows him in school and started living in a rented room. First day he met other boys living in same building from other villages and at night he dialed a number on his keypad phone and without calling start talking pretending he is calling his girlfriend. And this last for a month or couple. Kamil is unhappy with his life and he used to smoke sometimes when his roommate was out . Kamil used to say he has girlfriend from his district and he fell in love her during first year . This is true kamil was in love with a girl on first year but the girl was not and the year ended like this and kamil kamil was now working hard to pass 2nd year which is under board I,e kamil has to pass board exam and kamil was depressed because he has a fear that he can't pass exam and this happened and kamil failed. This failure hit like a stone on glass and kamil was broken like that glass
He feel ashamed of himself and start smoking regularly.
The smoker kamil has to work on land as a farmer with his family. Slowly with passage of time he started thinking of suicide.
Kamil passed second year in 2nd attempt after a disrespectful one year of work as farmer and went to City for further studies with hope of light in life and got admission in nursing diploma. In nursing college he fell in love with a sunaina his classmate and he decided to propose her but has a fear of rejection . After couple of months sunaina showed him picture of her boyfriend . Again kamil depressed and he decided to leave the chapter and start focusing on nursing studies and he became famous in his class. Teacher used to say him " you are bright student" but kamil is not happy , he now need love . One day sunaina called kamil and start crying and said she has breaked her relationship with her boyfriend and kamil was happy but pretend to be sad. Now sunaina often call kamil in late night and used to talk for hours with each other .
One day during late night sunaina asked kamil about her ex girlfriend and kamil in sad tune said a story of his ex girlfriend ( pretended he was having a girlfriend but they too have broken the relationship ) and this make sunaina emotional and she show sympathy towards kamil.
The day when kamil was writing exam of nursing in medical college sunaina asked him for help in writing few questions but kamil did't and sunaina became upset . At evening kamil called her but she didn't attended the call. Kamil felt bad and also decided to propose her on phone . Kamil wrote a message "sunaina I love you" and send it . After a minute he wrote " sunaina I apologise if I said anything wrong but I mean it ". But she didn't reply him and after a couple of hours she called kamil and kamil attended the call, she said she was busy I,e why she didn't received his call earlier and kamil said " do you saw my text messages" and she said "yes, and what is that 'apologise etc etc "" kamil reply "read again from beginning" she said "tell me what have you wrote" and kamil said in a low tune "sunaina I love you" she said "what you love me, from when , you .... " Kamil said " so what is answer ", she said "sorry I can't love you , I has decided not fell in love with anyone after my break-up , sorry , but you are my friend ,best male friend etc etc " kamil said "ok"
Kamil passed his nursing diploma and went to another state of India but the inferiority complex was always with him and also that suicidal thoughts
Now kamil is saying he has a ex girlfriend and her name is sunaina and he is still in love with her and when some one comments on his face , his body , etc he pretends like he don't care but he is broken inside.
Kamil knows he is ugly, he slim and he know nobody love him or will love him and has no faith on anything, has no hope of goodness . But he pretends he is good , he is smiling , he has a girlfriend and much more and. Is still feeling inferior and more inferior , has no dreams now but to die peacefully . So he decided to suicide but want to pretend it was accident and he did it