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by Slam Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E · Essay · Supernatural · #2200058
An avid wolf steak consumer suggests a way to acquire wolf steaks in a sustainable manner.
Infinite Wolf Steaks

Wolf steak isn't something you can get in any regular restaurant. Not only is wolf hunting illegal virtually everywhere, wolf meat doesn't taste particularly well either. Most people think a wolf steak is made by cooking wolf meat like you would cook beef. While it's true the way you cook is practically the same, what you cook is a bit different than most people think.

See, when I say "wolf steak" what I really mean is "werewolf steak". While wolf meat is dry and tough, werewolf meat is juicy and savory. It is very rich in fat and also more nutritious than wolf meat. This comes down to personal preference, but I actually prefer wolf steaks to beef steaks.

You may be thinking, "Eating a werewolf? Isn't that cannibalism?" Well, that's debatable. Is a werewolf really a human once it's in its beastly form? Werewolf meat is nothing like human meat. Once a werewolf transitions into its beast form, the structure of the meat completely changes. So I don't think eating werewolf meat is cannibalism. Either way, it's entirely legal to kill werewolves. In fact, it's encouraged by the government. Furthermore, there are no laws that prohibit the consumption of werewolf meat, so that's fine as well.

There are few others like me who enjoy werewolf meat on a regular basis. One big reason being it's a rare commodity. Werewolves are very rare and a dead one to collect meat from even more so. There are few werewolf hunters out there, and even fewer successful werewolf hunters. So the name of this text may be strange. How can someone acquire infinite wolf steaks when finite wolf steaks are hard enough to come by?

Have you witnessed a werewolf transformation? Probably not, but if you have you likely noticed just how larger the beast is from the human. Where does all that extra size come from? Well, I don't have the answer to that question, but I do know it happens. Somehow, the beast is much larger than the human. If you have witnessed a werewolf transformation in reverse, i.e., a beast transitioning into a human, you may have noticed something else. Any wounds the beast had do not stay on the human. Furthermore, when the human transforms into the beast once again, the wounds do not return. Do you realise what this means?

If you got a werewolf to agree to letting you cut pieces off it everytime it transformed into a beast, you could have infinite wolf steaks! Once the beast has appeared, you can slice off some cuts from its sides, glutes, back and legs. When the beast transforms back into a human, it will be unharmed. When the beast reappears, you can repeat the process!

Unfortunately, I haven't had the opportunity to test this theory. I'm having trouble finding a werewolf willing to admit to being a werewolf, let alone one willing to be sliced up. Still, I think it's a very interesting concept. Maybe in the future mankind will have werewolf farms. Who knows?
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