The Snotlout Experience incomplete

Hiccup loved flying, and the early morning flight with Toothless was sacrosanct. He wouldn’t deny them the freedom of flight; charging tens of thousands of feet above land, making a 180 degree turn, and diving back to skim the frigid water. There was no guarantee with Toothless that their time together would be easy for him. His dragon would spin through sea stacks or splash Hiccup with a wing, then laugh. Hiccup would have to think fast on Toothless, to avoid getting fried by a plasma blast. He needed the time they spent together, and sometimes it was the only time Hiccup could be away from...well, everyone. The past few months had been constant; his dad, Stoick the Vast, was dragging Hiccup all over the island, trying to stuff lessons into him. “A chief protects his own.” “No job is too small for the chief’s attention.” “Son, you will be responsible for the entire tribe.” Stoick’s current favorite was “You must know every inch of Berk, son, and everyone on it.” Hiccup felt as if Stoick would look at him one morning, and announce, “I’m done with being a chieftain. It’s your job now, son. Don’t forget to wear the cape.” The man was driving him insane.

§ § §

“You’re crazy, Hiccup.”

“Snotlout, it’s not crazy.”

“‘Yes. Yes it is, cuz.” Snotlout snorted. “I see you every day, and you always have something you want me to do. ‘Snotlout, we’re practicing maneuvers. Snotlout, my dad wants us to patrol. Snotlout, stop Hookfang from flaming.’
Nag, nag. Now you want me to spend more time with you? No, Hiccup. It’s not happening.’”

“First off, we’re all supposed to patrol, and the maneuvers are every two weeks. You just have to look at a schedule. Second, Hookfang is your dragon, and you left him at the docks while the fishing boats returned.”

“I didn’t know the eels would bother him.”

“Every dragon is terrified of them, Snotlout. Having Hookfang panic and flame up at wooden docks with wooden boats was a disaster. I had to explain it to Dad, and he made me repair the docks, because ‘the riders are your responsibility, son, and the blame lies with you.’”

“Yeah, well, not my fault you’re the Chief’s son.”

Hiccup rubbed his forehead. “That’s what I’m trying to talk to you about. Dad’s been shoving Chieftain lessons at me for months, and I’m worried he wants to retire soon. I can hold him off for a while, but he’ll stick me with the job at some point, and I’m not ready.”

“Yeah, um, not news, cuz. I’m not sure I want to live on an island run by Chief Hiccup.” He smirked.

“Thanks for that, Snotlout. I don’t have a choice in this, but you’re forgetting something. One day, you’re going to be doing Spitelout’s work. Eldest Jorgenson son gets to fight for the tribe and advise the Chief, right? “

“Y’know, I’m not sure my dad would want me to take his job.” He looked nervous.

“I looked it up. The Jorgensons have always supported the Haddock chiefs, from the first generation. Your dad’s not going to let you refuse, and you won’t anyway; it’s part of the job description.”

“Yeah...”

“Now can you listen?” At his cousin’s nod, he began. “One of these days, I’m going to take over from Stoick the Vast, and I’m going to inherit all his advisors. I’m going to be Chief over a bunch of stubborn men twice my age who remember when I couldn’t stand upright.” Snotlout opened his mouth, and Hiccup said, “No leg jokes, okay? Make fun of the prosthetic later. But I’m going to need every advantage I can manage to get. That’s,” he grinned, “why this is such a great idea.”

“Maybe it’s a great idea for you—I mean you get to have me around—but what do I get out of it? Living with your dad is no picnic, and I know you have a bunch of things you probably want from me, so why should I live at your house?”

“Because you’ve seen how well our dads get on. They’re both stubborn...”

“Stoick’s worse.” Snotlout interrupted, grinning. “I’ve seen him with my dad. He’s definitely worse.”

“Yeah, he’s got his own special kind of stubbornness; so does yours. They’ve always had this thing where they kinda like each other, and definitely trust each other, while fighting all the time. Spitelout’s always pushing Dad, questioning his authority, and pointing out how to do it better. Dad doesn’t listen, and has the impatience with all the hassle Spitelout causes, and keeps trying to shut him up. Both of them have an awful temper.”

“Again, Stoick’s worse.”

“I refuse to have that argument; I don’t want either of them mad at me.”

“I still don’t know why this should mean something to me, Hiccup. I want you to tell me what’s in it for me.”

“Well, it gives me a chance to know you better. We’re going to work together for a long time and it would help us get along. Do you want to always be fighting with me?”

“Well, no, not always.” Hiccup rolled his eyes.

“It would be nice to feel good about leaving the island in your charge if I had to go somewhere. The better I know you, the more confidence I can have in you. You’d know I had that confidence and it would be valid, not just me putting you in charge because we’re family.”

“This is still about what’s good for you. Do you have anything to offer me? Huh?”

“You would look good in the eyes of the tribe. Because I trust you, they’ll be more likely to listen to you. You’re a Jorgenson, and that will make the Jorgensens look good. The Jorgenson line has always produced warriors. You’ll be able to fight for the tribe as well as look after it. The senior tribe members will be reassured.”

“I know how to fight and it’ll make the old farts happy, gotcha.”

“You are a good fighter. I’ve seen you train with your dad. You win Thawfest every year. You fought off two massive outcasts with a piece of rod to rescue me from Outcast Island. I don’t say anything about it, but I’m glad to have you on my side.”

“You have a point there; I’m much better than you are, cuz.” He struck a pose, and Hiccup snorted. “What else?”

“It will get you used to the kind of problems a chief has to solve. And,” Hiccup cut him off, “that makes you look capable to my dad. If Stoick the Vast has a council meeting, and you have to substitute for Spitelout, he will take you more seriously. Then the rest of them might listen more—no promises, they’re the council—but it’s worth trying. That’s something you’ve accomplished on your own, but it’ll please your dad. Besides, you’re not going to spend much time with my dad. He has work, we have our own stuff to do, and mostly you’ll see each other at breakfast and bed. You and I will spend time together at home, and, yeah, you’ll have to learn stuff, but, so will I because,” Hiccup’s face split wide, “I’ll be having weapons training with Spitelout.”

“What? You want my dad to teach you how to fight? Why? I mean, not that it’s not a great idea, but why?”

“Look, Spitelout’s got more proficiency with weapons than almost anyone on Berk. How many weapons can he use, Snotlout? I’ve seen him use an axe, a mace, longbows and crossbows, and a sword. I know he’s at least above average with most weapons in the smithy. He’s strong, he’s skilled, and he’s spent years training you.”

“You know how to fight. You’re great with a sword, good with a crossbow, and your longbow is decent. You can defend yourself. You don’t need my dad to train you.”

“I want to learn from him. I’m going to be in every battle we have, and I want to be able to fight with more than I can use right now. I’ve already been lured away and held captive by Alvin. My dad was taken by Dagur the Deranged. I’m valuable because I’m the Heir, and I’m valuable when I become Chief.” Snotlout listened; Hiccup never talked about this stuff, but he’d thought about it a lot, and his voice grew passionate. “I can’t take the risk of being unprepared. I need to learn things I can’t on my own. I’ve grown taller, but I’m never going to be beefy. So I need to build muscle. If I’m alone, I’ll need everything I’ve got. If someone swipes my leg, I still need to fight. I’ll learn anything your dad wants. I don’t want to fight, but I don’t plan to die.” He looked at his cousin, and said in a softer voice, “And I don’t want to get the people around me killed, either.”

“You might want to tell some of that to my dad. He’s good at matching skills with people. You know, there’s going to be a big part of my dad feeling smug ‘cause he’s teaching Stoick’s son. Scoring a point off your old man will never get old.”

“While my father will have Spitelout’s son living in his house, learning from his son, on the duties of a chief. He’ll be thrilled to have that against your dad.”

“Now all we have to do is get them to agree to this.”