PHONE

PHONE
My phone is ringing all the time
Nuisance callers on the line
They say their name’s Kevin or Daisy May
But by their accent I suspect they’re from Bombay.

“How are you today, very well I hope?”
I sense the coming of a slippery slope
“A minute of your time is all I need
Thank you very much indeed.”

“What do you want?” I impatiently ask
“To save you money is my task”
I’ve heard it all before, I think to myself
These time-wasting calls are not good for my health.

I say “I’m not interested, whatever it is.”
Because I’m suspecting a certain swizz.
I put down the phone and walk away
But I know a new call is not far away.

And sure enough this time it’s a scam
A trickster wondering how foolish I am
But his spiel I soon recognise as wicked lies
The phone slams down, no goodbyes.

Then someone rings wanting my help with a survey
No thanks mate, I wasn’t born yesterday
You’ll record all my answers and sell on my choices
And I’ll be bombarded with even more phone voices.

The telephone was once a wonderful thing
Now it’s more like a nettle sting
Irritation and frustration it will bring
There it goes again… tring-tring, tring-tring.