If...Then Why

If I’m so “strong,”
Then why do I cut?
If I’m so “brave,”
Then why do I run from my problems?
If I’m so “beautiful,”
Then why do I only have the scum bags chasing me?
If people believe in me,
Then why do I feel so lonely?
If people “love” me,
Then why do they always point out my flaws?
If my past is supposedly “behind” me,
Then why do people through it in my face?
If I’m so “sweet,”
Then why can’t I stand being around anyone?
If I’m such a great friend,
Then why do I have such a hard time being there for them?
If I’m so “smart,”
Then why didn’t I get into my dream college?
If you’re so proud of me,
Then why do I always feel like a disappointment and can’t measure up?
If you care,
Then why don’t you stop me from this pain?