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Rated: ASR · Fiction · Horror/Scary · #2174285
Lincoln snaps, Lincoln and his alliance do bad, The Louds and Clyde must survive a game
The 3 faces of Lincoln
Lori wakes up. Lynn punches her.

Lana: She's awake.

Lynn: Is there anything at punching can't do?

Lisa: It can't work a clock.

Lynn punches a clock which makes it work.

Lori: What's going on, where are we? (realizes that they are chained up)

The doorknob rattles. Lincoln (as Landon) busts through the door.

Lisa: Lincoln?

Landon: I'm not Lincoln, I'm Landon!

Lynn: Hi! But what's going on?

Landon: I'm the one who brought you here when I knocked you out.

Lynn: You hurt us?

Landon goes insane and snatches Leni's glasses.

Landon (as Leni): Who ya' calling crazy?

Leni: I'm not that LOUD!

Landon grunts.

Landon: I'm gonna belt ya! (they shrug) with a Broadway-style song. (They scream as Landon grabs a hat) 🎵You'll be trapped, trapped like rats. No-one knows where ya ats. You'll eat my shorts and then have a cow! I'm gonna kick you now!🎵 (kicks Lisa, Lana, Lola, Lucy, Lynn, Luan, Luna, and Leni in the face and kicks Lori in the nuts) Applaud or die! (They applaud) You die, girls.

Lori: What? Why?

Landon: Not one of you said "Encore". (slams the door.)

At the Loud House

Rita: Want more pancakes?

Landon (French accent): Pancakes are meaningless, Life is meaningless!

Lynn Sr.: Rita, Lincoln's being weird. And where's the rest of the girls?

Landon (Insane): Oh, yes, the Loud Girls. They told me that they got sick and went to the hospital

Lynn Sr: The great thing about the girls is that nothing bad ever happens to them.

In the dark room.

The girls are using Lisa to smash down the door.

Lori: Come on, Lisa, put your brain to it. The door isn't even scratched

Lynn: We were trying to break the door?

Later

Lynn: Ok, I got a plan! First, Lisa, gnaw through your ankle.

Lisa: Ok, but I'm allergic to myself. (licks her feet which makes her tongue swell up.)

Lynn: I swear, you say one more wimpy thing-

Lisa: Not my glasses! They were on "Woman's Health"!

Landon busts in, this time with a bagpipe.

Landon (different accent): Alright you little beasts, ya' ready for a trip to the Scottish die lands? Just let yourselves out. But beware of The beast! (slams the door.)

Lori: Isn't that cute? He learned an accent from his friends.

Lynn: Not that cute.

It reveals that Lincoln killed his friends.

They open the door to reveal a dungeon and statues of The Loud Sisters on fire

Lori: I literally wish I can burn the calories like that.

They climb up a ladder revealing a recycling plant where Lincoln (as The Beast) is.

The Beast: It's time to recycle you, stupid girls.

Lisa: Careful bro, is you keep talking like that, your voice will hurt.

He throws a broken glass at his younger siblings cause them to fall in used motor oil. He grabs them and makes them fall into the newspaper bundler.

Lisa: Wear our bones around your neck!

They get crushed. Leni, Luna, Luan and Lynn try to escape but Lincoln drops an open box full on used magnets near them.

Lynn: Ha-ha! You missed!

The magnets activate causing a lifter to kill them. Lincoln glares at Lori and gets a slingshot and puts her phone on the slingshot and aims it at Lori.

Lori: What happened to you?

The Beast: You know what you did!

Flashback to Lincoln's school at night. Lori sneaks into Lincoln's class and changes Lincoln's answers into roasts.

Flashback Mrs. Johnson: And Lincoln got an F-

Flashback Lincoln is confused. Back to reality.

The Beast: You ruined Lincoln's life and on that day THE BEAST WAS BORN!

He slingshots at Lori causing her to fall into a hole. The beast is about dump loads garbage on Lori

The Beast: One American causes this much garbage in one day.

Lori: Just kill me! Not teach me! I'm your sister!

The Beast turns back to Lincoln.

Lincoln: If you have a great speech to save yourself, now would be a great time. I'm rooting for ya! (changes back to the Beast

Lori: Linky, (Lisa, Lola, Lana, and Lucy fall in as newspapers.) please forgive me, I'm your sister! I'll always be there for you. When your girlfriend dumps you, I'll take you drinking and tell you what a jerk she was. When she takes you back, I'll tell you that he's great and to go to games with her! Am I reaching you?

The Beast turns to Lincoln, who stops trying to dump garbage onto her.

Lincoln: I'm back!

Lynn Sr: Oh my god! Why did you do it?

Lincoln: Sometimes when a boy gets pushed too far he just snaps! You know how that feels?

Lynn Sr: No!

Lincoln: Where's Mom?

Lynn Sr: Tied up in the trunk of the car.

Rita: Oh, how did this happen?

Lola: I've always wanted to be a papergirl. Want a comic? (Spits out one.)

A Clockwork Lincoln
Lincoln wipes an eyelash on his face and smirks at you.

Lincoln (Voice Over): This is me.

We move outwards to reveal Lynn, Luna, Clyde, Liam and Zach.

Lincoln (Voice Over): And this is my alliance. Sports (Lynn), Musical (Luna), Glasses (Clyde), Farm Boy (Liam), and Freeway Kid (Zach). We are best friends with Sports and Musical being my siblings. Sometimes we'd have a bit of a bash while having a go with the wiseguys. And end the night with some drinks.

At Flip's Food and Store of Fuel.

Lincoln, Lynn, Luna, Clyde, Liam and Zach (playing with the automatic door): In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out.

Flip: Are you just going to start ordering or just play with the automatic door?

Lincoln: Meh... Door!

Lincoln, Lynn, Luna, Clyde, Liam and Zach: In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out.

Lincoln (Voice Over): But sometimes we need to fake so we can sneak out. It works...

Rita: All right, chap, Time to go to school.

Lincoln: Ma', I wish I could but I got a pain in me gulliver.

Rita: I don't care if ya' get a pain in ya' gulliver, you still have to go to school!

Lincoln (Voice Over): sometimes.

Luna: Well, guys, my girly mate wants me to stop the mischief.

Lincoln: Whaaaaat?

Sam: Musical is working at the Tower of London.

Lincoln (Voice Over): When Musical left, our alliance was no more. Sports and Glasses kicked me out imediately.

Lincoln gets thrown out the window and hits many buildings.

Lincoln (Voice Over): So I gave up the mischief and became a waiter.

Lincoln sighs as he gives the chef a couple's orders.

Days later.

Lincoln is strapped up with his eyes spalked open and forced to watch violent movies to make him disgusted by violence.

Lincoln: Turn it off, turn it off! I'll be good!

Rita takes off the straps and spalks as the doorbell rang.

Rita opens the door.

Chandler: There has been a terrible accident, miss, please unbolt your door!

Rita: No!

Chandler: Please unbolt it!

Rita: No!

Rita gets a wedgie by Hawk and Hank.

Hawk and Hank: Ha-ha!

They unbolt it causing Chandler, Sooyoung and Linsdey to enter and push Rita down.

Lincoln: Ma'?

Chandler, Sooyoung, Hawk, Hank and Linsdey breaks stuff and punches Lincoln and Rita. Linsdey grabs an ancient plate and threatens to smash it.

Lincoln: Plate! Not Ma's plate!

They smash the plate on Rita.

In Luna's room.

Lincoln: Those goons has never treated us nicely.

Luna: Oh, they're just bullies.

Lincoln: Please join back into the alliance!

Sam: No! Ya' shouldn't be out glugging, shin slicing or eye groaning! We got a little tot to take care of.

Lily, with an eyelash that's similar to Lincoln's, beats up her doll with a cane.

Luna: ENOUGH WITH THIS HOUSE LIFE! Time to be a he/she again!

Luna puts on an eyelash that's similar to Lincoln's.

At Flip's Food and Store of Fuel

Luna: After all those days, it's great to be back!

Suddenly, people appear to whack Lincoln.

Lincoln: Wait a minute, I recognize these people! It's Sports, Glasses, Farm Boy and Freeway Kid.

They laugh.

Lincoln: Ya' folks wanna join me for one last bit of noggin boggin?

Gives them hats.

Lincoln (Voice Over): Once again, the alliance is walking through the streets in slow motion

Luna is in the back.

Lincoln: Hey, keep up!

Luna runs to the alliance.

Lincoln (Voice Over): We wrote suggestions for our night and put them in a hat.

Lincoln grabs the hat and chose Home invasion.

The alliance goes over a fence to and ran to Lori's mansion. They bust through the door. Although there's one flaw. Many people were in there. They all stare at the alliance. The walk to Lori.

Luna: What kind of Woo-hoo is this?

Lori: Welcome to the most scariest party you've ever intended.

Leni: Lori, are you done with my birth mask.

Lori: No.

Lincoln: Come on, alliance, let's show these guys who's boss!

The alliance start to fight with everyone.

Lincoln (Voice Over): And so, all my brothers and sisters, I was bruised but I was happy.

The end

War and Pieces
Lincoln: Ugh, what's the point of cleaning under the bed? It's like cleaning a dumpster! It's designed to be filthy.
Rita: [Rummaging under the bed] Because this room smells like dog barf. [Pulls out a glass of milk] Ugh! What is this?
Lincoln: Oh, that's a glass of milk.
[Rita turns the glass upside-down and the milk, which seems to be completely solid, starts sliding out, extremely slowly]
Lincoln: ...Cheese. That's a glass of cheese.
[The milk falls through the floor and onto Leni, who is seen eating a sandwich. She shrieks in agony]
Lincoln: ...Stone. That's a glass of stone.
Rita: Are you kidding me? That milk had to be at least ten years old.
Clyde: [Pulls out a moldy slice of pizza from under the bed] Well, at least there's nothing alive under there.
[The pizza slice suddenly grows spider legs and squeals. Clyde screams and drops it, and then it crawls out the open window.
[Rita pulls out Dodj Or Daar game from the bed
Rita: Hey, Look what I found, the game you made.
Clyde: Hang on, I'm not three anymore, you're not going to distract me with- what the what!?
[The first of many huge noises tempting them to play the game suddenly sounds]
Clyde: Dodj or Daar, it's calling us...
Lincoln: [Pulls Clyde away, gets the game and puts it in the garbage bag] No! We swore we'd never play that game again.
[The huge noise plays. Lincoln and Clyde are in the kitchen, eating their lunch]

Lincoln: Just ignore the calls. [Sips a cup of soda]
[The huge noise plays again, twice. Clyde accidentally squirts too much ketchup; Lincoln's soda comes out of his nostrils and again, he tries to eat a sandwich, which he does, but in the process puts his hands through his ears, instead of eating the sandwich]
Lincoln: We have to destroy that game.
[Clyde and Lincoln run to the garbage can and open it]
Lincoln: It's gone!
[The huge noise plays again]
[`Clyde and Lincoln run to the house and finds Lincoln's sisters, Rita and Lynn Sr playing it]
Lincoln and Clyde: Wait!


[The others then turn around, all of them are confused; the boys leap toward them in slow motion]

Lincoln and Clyde: Don't throw the dice!

[Leni throws the dice, Lincoln and Clyde fall then fall to the ground]
Lincoln: You don't know what you're doing!
Lori: Yeah, cause you didn't write any instructions.
Lisa: But what you did write was spelled wrong, Dodj or Daar? Sounds like an alien choosing a baby name.
Lynn Sr: Let's just pack it away.
Lincoln: No, you can't stop! Once you start Dodj or Daar, [Ominously] it has to be finished!

Lincoln: [off-screen] Ok, the rules are pretty simple. [On-screen, gesturing toward the game board] You roll the dice and pick a Daar card. If you do the Daar, then you go forward that many spaces. If you don't then you have to take a Dodj card and move half the spaces.
Lynn: Okay, and how do you win?
Lincoln: [Ominously] You don't win, you survive!
Lynn: Okay... but how do you actually win?
Lincoln: Oh, you have to roll an exact number to land on the last square. Leni, you're up.
Leni: [Laughs] I feel sorry for whoever's gonna do this one!
[Everybody looks at Leni. Leni realizes and frowns]
[Cuts to place where the Sheriff is]
Leni [Runs to the Sheriff] Officer please, I need to report a theft.
Sheriff: Yes, finally! What did the thief look like?
Leni: Well, she was wearing a monocle.
[Sheriff writes it down when he sees Leni wearing a monocle]
Sheriff: Okay... Uh, anything else?
Leni: Yes, she had a big furry mustache!
[Sheriff writes it down again when he sees Leni again this time wearing the big furry mustache]
Sheriff Okay... any other distinguishing features?
Leni: Yes, she was dressed as a yodeller! .... Aren't you gonna write that down?
Sheriff: Just testing something.
[Sheriff blinks for a second and sees Leni dressed as a yodeler just as Leni says]
Sheriff: Ah! And what did that man steal?
Leni: [Gets close to Sheriff] A kiss.

[The family are laughing while Leni rubs her injured eye with a piece of meat]

Lisa: You actually did it!? [Laughing]

Clyde: IT'S STARTING! We have to finish the game quickly before it gets a hold of us and destroys us all!

Lincoln: Dude, keep it together!
Clyde: Get a grip on yourself, you're under-reacting!
Lincoln: THANKS, MAN! I got bit calm for a second but now I realized how serious this is!
[Clyde rolls the dice; picks a Daar card on the Daar desk]
Clyde: AAH! DARE! "RUN PAST A DOG WEARING A SUIT OF PIZZA" That doesn't sound too bad.
Lincoln: [Doubtfully] Really? Don't you remember when I got that one?
[Flashback shows Lincoln running past a dog herd wearing pizza; he jumps over the fence. Then, Lincoln's sisters suddenly appear out of nowhere and bites Lincoln, and shake him]
Lincoln: The worst part is it took four weeks to stitch that suit together and it was gone in under a minute.
[Lincoln's sister laugh mysteriously; and makes a vampire face again; Clyde is horrified]
Clyde: [screams] You're right, I'll take a Dodj! [picks up a Dodj card] "Your left arm must do like the player to your right's arm does and vice versa".
Lisa: What does that mean?
Leni: It means I can do this! [Points to Lisa, making Clyde poke Lincoln]
Lincoln: Hey! [Leni pokes repeatedly while Lincoln says "hey!" altogether]
[Lincoln grabs Clyde's arm and slaps him; Leni slaps herself, too]
Lincoln: Dare, "take a dodge". Aww, man. [Picks up a card] "CSD".
Lori: What's CSD?
Lincoln: Compulsive Singing Disorder. It means that I could sing at ANYTIME. [Singing "anytime" loudly and cheerfully]
Leni: "Eat one-hundred hot dogs in under a minute". That's not a dare! That's Tuesday.
[Leni goes to the kitchen. Then Clyde appears to "eat" very quickly due to the effect of the last dodge, and stops, nearly breathless]
Darwin: I think she stopped. [His left hand moves to his mouth] Aw dude, she's drinking the brine!
Rita: Boys, I'm not using spray cheese instead of deodorant. Give me a dodge card. [Takes the card from Lincoln] From now on, you will doubt every thought you have. That's ridiculous. There's no way a board game can make that happen.
[A freaky head suddenly grows on Rita's head]
Freaky head: Or can it?
Rita: Is that head real?
Clyde: It's as real as you believe it is, until the game ends.
Lincoln: Maybe now you're starting to realize... [Singing] HOW DANGEROUS THIS GAME REALLY IS... That came out way less ominous than I was hoping for.
Rita: Well then, I'm finishing the game right now.
Freaky head: Or are you?
Rita: [Sigh] Every sentence you say is going to start with "or" isn't it?
Freaky head: Or is it?
Rita: I'll take that as a yes.
Freaky head: Or will--
Rita: YES!!
Lincoln: It won't make any difference, Mom. The game's too powerful.
Rita: The only power this game has is the power you give it.
Clyde: Then why's my hand moving again?
Rita: The game's finished, Leni.
Leni: But these pickled eggs aren't!
[Rita sighs; Rita comes to Clyde, takes his right hand and hit the left one; In the kitchen, Leni drops the food she's eating; Clyde leaves]
Leni: Oh! Aww...




[Lincoln is reading aloud his essay in front of the class]
Lincoln: And so, in conclusion, if earth temperature were to rise by just one degree, average sea levels would rise, leading to a MASSIVE TRAGEDY. [He sings the last part cheerfully, and the class laughs]
Teacher​​: [Looking upset] Oh, I didn't realize you thought global warming was such a laughing matter. Three hours detention. [To the class; Lincoln goes back to his place] Now, who would like to volunteer for my outdoor meditation retreat instead of having a summer vacation?
Clyde: [Raising his left arm] What the? [Clyde pulls his arm down. At the Leni's school, Leni's left hand is pulled down too. She tries to raise it again to get a broom. (It's Leni's job at school)]
Leni: Come--on--
Teacher: Very good Clyde. And who wants to take the vow of silence, as well?
[Clyde's trying to pull his arm down again]
Clyde: Come--on--
Teacher​​: You won't regret it. And finally, we also need a volunteer for the eco protest this weekend where we chain ourselves to a doomed tree for forty-eight hours.
[Clyde's arm keep being raised against his will]
Teacher: Are you sure, Clyde? I'm not gonna lie to you, buddy. We're gonna get maced.
[Clyde manages to get his arm down. Meanwhile, the broom in Leni's uncontrolled hand makes her fall on a rake]

[Everyone comes back home.]
Everyone: We have to finish the game!
Leni: Just roll the cards and pick the dice! Just get on with it!
Lincoln: OK. We need maximum rolls every turn, which means no Dodjs, no matter how bad the Daars are. Agreed? [Rolls the dice and draws a daar card] Dodj.
Lisa: What happened to taking every Daar?
Lincoln: Do you really want to see me clean myself with my tongue?
Everyone except Lincoln and Lana: EW!
Clyde: Dodj! Dodj! Dodj!
Lincoln: Dramatic music will play 'til the end of the game. [Dramatic music begins to play]
Lynn Sr: Daar! Juggle flaming knives. [Holds two flaming knives]
Rita: Come on, Lynn! You can do it!
[Lynn Sr tosses the knives and they plunge into the ceiling]
Rita: Never mind! We'll deal with that later. [Rolls the dice and draws a Daar card] Drive a car from the backseat.
[Rita tries to drive the car from the backseat with two broomsticks]
Rita: I can do it! I can do it!
Freaky Head: Or can you?
Rita: [Grunts] SHUT UP, WILL YOU?
[She punches her head and loses control of the car. The car then hits a street light, making it fall down onto the Loud's house]
[Lisa moves her piece on the board]
Lisa: Dodj bomb. What's that?
Lincoln: [Sings] Everyone, TAKE A DODJ CARD.
[Everyone sighs and draws a Dodj card]
Lisa: Freeze frame. Does that mean I'll-- [She literally freezes like someone pressing the pause button, and there can be lines of static shown like on a VHS tape]
Clyde: [Panicking] See? That's what we told you! If we all get stuck by a dodj, we'll remain like this forever!
Luan: Groovy earthquake. [Luan's shaking]
Leni: Gravity is your enemy, what does that-- [Leni gets squished]
Rita: Giant hands. [Her hands grows big]
Freaky Head: Or are they?
[She punches her head and knocks herself out in to the backyard]
Clyde: You like everything Lincoln likes!
[Nothing apparently happens]
Leni: Nothing happened.
Clyde: Well, I'm kind of into those things already... Comics, Video Games...
Rita: Come on! Roll the dice!
Luna: Date a sheep. [Cut to Luna and a sheep at the restaurant] I'll have the lamb, uh... I mean chicken [He looks at the waiter and realizes the waiter is a chicken] I meant the check!
[Back at the house]
Lincoln: [Singing] Bathtub sled. [Rides the bathtub down the stairs and punches a hole through the front door]
Lori: Back to baby!... Goo-Goo?
[A few moments later]
Clyde: We're nearly there!
Lincoln: Now we need to land on the last square with an exact roll.
Rita: Here we go! [Rolls dice] Five! Oh no, Dodj bomb again. [Draws dodj card] No one is allowed to breathe until the game is over.
Freaky Head: Or are they?
[Everyone suffocates]
Lincoln: Please... be a six.
[The die is thrown, and it does not result in a six]
Rita: Are you kidding me? [Smashes the ground, moving the dice, which now shows a six]
[All effects caused by the dodjs disappear, and the everybody is able to breathe again]
Lincoln: Yes! We survived, all the effects of the game have been reversed... [Notices all the damage brought about by their own actions is still present] almost.
The end
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