Borderline

Where do i begin. Its a question that applies to me everyday, at least 10 times a day. For starters, i struggle with borderline personality disorder. I can never make up my mind, and when i do, its time to make it up again. I go thru so many emotions in a short time period, and some have affected long term situations. Relationships and work have suffered due to this. At times it appears as if its too much for me, and way too much for other people. Its times i dont want to be bothered, cant get out of bed, and will just cry. Then i have days where i feel like im Superman. Then we have the days where both sides of me take turns steering throughout the day. I hate that people make it seem like i can just shake it off, if it were that easy, it would have been done. Its scary not knowing what your next move will be. Many times i have tossed around writing a short novel on what i go thru, but i dont have the mental capacity to due so. Maybe one day i will, or maybe i wont. Maybe writing about it will make me feel better and let me see who i am. Then again, maybe writing about it will make me see that and hate who i am. As i write this im even torn. Its just a rollercoaster that wont let me off, no matter how much i kick and scream...