Veneer

         Just before waking on September 14, 2018 at about 5:25 a.m., I had a dream:

         I had sewn (into my own gums and on top of perfectly good, heathy teeth) a veneer---which mirrored natural teeth. The process was incomplete and there was a string still hanging in my mouth (like dental floss), evidence the sewing needed completion.

         Clarissa was with me and was about ten years old.

         She and I had crossed a body of water---similar to the Ocean, yet not as massive, more like a tumultuous lake---to visit friends. Yet the waters were more like the ocean in appearance and strength. Her boat was similar to a kayak with paddles; and I was utilizing sort of a stand-up paddle boat. Though we were together, we were crossing in separate vessels.

         Immediately, she was angry with me, psychotic, as she tried to yank the veneer from my teeth---which, had she succeeded, would have pulled out my real teeth as well. I was traumatized and wary for the remainder of the dream. Because of this event, I made a mental note to remove the veneer, at once, upon returning home---for safety, preservation.

         She then intimated she’d told some half-truths about me, painting me as a mean, half-crazed tyrant. I wondered if it was true. (Was I really a half-crazed tyrant?)

         It then became clear she did not love me and---in fact---was a real threat, willing to inflict serious bodily harm upon me. We were foes, and I didn't even know---until now.

         Because of what Clarissa had been saying, my former friends (including Nancy Perry Caudill) no longer trusted me. They were wary.

         When we were about to start off to return home (back across the water), Clarissa immediately lost a paddle; and we needed to borrow one. I was protecting her, caring for her as if all was well.

         I then asked my friend if we could borrow a paddle. Hesitantly, she agreed. If we lost it, I promised a replacement. Then she said it wasn’t necessary because she had some sort of insurance that would take care of it. (It wasn’t real insurance it was some sort of protection from the county or parks government.)

         I then said that even though we had already come half-way---not full circle---I thought it too precarious for a journey back across the water, without life-vests. I wasn’t sure my swimming was strong enough to save Clarissa if it became necessary to do so. (Additionally, I didn't want to be alone with her.)

         Because of what Clarissa had told them, my "friends" and I were no longer “real friends.” They did not trust me and were barely tolerating me.

         Chris W. (from Al-Anon) was part of this dream, and he did not trust me---did not think highly of me at all.

         I woke up feeling upset---not really wanting to get up even though I had a full night’s sleep.

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Foundational Information and Interpretation:

         There is a hurricane in the Atlantic named “Florence,” which has been hovering off-shore the Carolinas.

         I recently wrote my story for future sharing in Al-Anon, and I feel I may have revealed too much information---giving others fodder to think less of me, hurt me. I sort of asked God about it---thinking I may need to do some revising.

         I now wonder what my daughter, Clarissa, really thinks about me. There may be some hatred there just below the surface. As I make revisions to my writing here, I also mentally note she watches a lot of horror flicks and Halloween is her favorite time of the year. (This bothers me so much that I wonder where she is in her relationship with God.)

         My friend, Nancy Perry Caudill, represents ministry and is part of my past.

         Clarissa represents both the past and the present.

         Chris W. represents both the present and Al-Anon.

         The veneer over my teeth may be me trying to gloss over the truth. My plan was to remove it---once home. My teeth may represent words spoken from my mouth [a portrayal that is not entirely, completely honest---even though the truth (my natural teeth) is perfectly good and healthy]. However, if the veneer was radically jerked off, there would be blood loss, torn flesh, and my healthy teeth would be painfully and radically destroyed. Though on my own, I could remove the veneer safely.

         Somehow I hurt Clarissa deeply; otherwise, she wouldn’t have hatred bordering on psychosis, and wanting others to think ill of me. (Maybe I need to make real amends.)

         I have learned dreams are not always what they seem. Often deeper meanings are being portrayed to get our attention and effect change. I have prayed, asked God for the interpretation.