Morning coffee

Pulling up the driveway, I see Jessie sitting on the front porch with a coffee, smoking a cigarette. It's hard to determine with the weather if it's smoke coming from her mouth, or just the fact that it's bitter cold out this morning and i can see her breath. A warm, inviting smile spreads across her face as she stands up and flicks her cigarette.

“Come on in!” she says, motioning toward the door, as I'm getting out of the truck.

To describe my friendship/relationship with Jessie as complicated would be an understatement. We met through a co-worker she was having an affair with, and hit it off instantly. There is a chemistry there that can't be denied, much to the dismay of my co-worker. We shared a lot of time talking about life, what we wanted from it, why she was jeopardizing everything she had for a fling with Joe. A few weeks after we had had a lengthy talk on the subject, she broke things off with him. This drove a wedge between my friendship with Joe, because even though we were friends, I saw no reason to break contact with her which he took as a betrayal. Most times I would've walked away, but there was something undeniable there between us that I owed it to myself to explore.

Walking through the door, seeing what she's wearing, I get a flash of excitement.

“Loose fitting t-shirt and sweatpants! You know that's when I find a woman the sexiest! Looking like you just woke up. Are you trying to get me to rip your clothes off?” I say playfully.

She brushes my advance off with a slight, corner of the mouth smirk, and a quick change of subject.

“Would you like the grand tour?” she asks, and walks away into the living room.

We breeze through house with her pointing out various things they've customized, or built on their own. Walking around, I can't help but think, this is awkward. Why is she so off today? Is it because this is her house that she built with her husband?

After we finish with the tour and head back into the kitchen, I finish my coffee and walk my cup over to the sink, and reach around her setting my cup on the counter while I place my hand on her lower back.

“Thanks for the coffee.”

“You're welcome. I need a cigarette.” she says slipping away from me and walking across the room and sliding on her coat and boots. “You should come out with me.”

We go out onto the front deck that looks out over the driveway and the valley below.

“I need to tell you something, before you hear it from someone else. I hooked up with Joe last night in the bathroom at work. He was sitting there for hours, and he kept telling me what a whore I was. How he was going to fuck me in the bathroom later, how he knew it, and everyone else knew it, how I was nothing but a useless whore.” she tells me.

I can't turn and face her. My blood is boiling. “So you prove him right?! I thought we had talked about the ways he manipulates you, and how to not let him get to you.”

“Are you mad?” she asks.

“Disappointed is a better word.” I say hesitantly. I don't want to tell her how pissed I am at this point, mostly for fear of not seeing her again.

“I didn't have to tell you! I could've waited for you hear from someone else!” she yells.

Flicking her cigarette off the deck, she storms back in the door, tosses her coat on the chair, kicks off her boots, and goes back to doing the dishes in the sink.

“I feel bad enough already. I know I fucked up. I don't need you making me feel worse.” she says.

“I really don't need this shit right now. I'm gonna go.” I say, and walk out the door.

Heading down the driveway, my mind is a sea of rage. Images of the two of them together. Him taking her into the bathroom, bending her over the sink, telling her what a dirty little whore she is while he's smiling at himself in the mirror.

All I can see is red. I need to stop, get out, take a breath. There is a pull off a few miles up the road that I pull into. Why do I care? I think to myself, She isn't mine. I have no claim to her. We aren't together..... but I wish we were. That's the dilemma. After all the talk about her having a great life, and risking it to have a fling with Joe, and was he really worth losing the life she had built, but deep down, I want her to do the same thing just with me. What kind of a hypocrite am I? I have no right to be pissed at her for my feelings I haven't even expressed! Dammit, I have to go back.

I turn the truck around and head back up the driveway, hop out, and run through the door, surprising her on my way in.

“I'm a hypocrite.” I say, as I walk across the kitchen and grab her face with both hands and pull her lips to mine before she can react. I feel her relax after the initial shock, and she jumps up wrapping her legs around my waist. I walk her over to the table, and set her down, our lips not taking a break the whole way. She props up, and I slide her sweatpants off her ass as she fumbles with my zipper, tugging it up and down.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” she mumbles between kissing. “Here.” I say, pulling it down and freeing my cock.

I kiss her neck slowly, one hand on the side of her face, the other making its way down her thigh to her wetness, as I breath in her ear. A shudder runs through her as she starts stroking me faster. I run two fingers back and forth teasing her opening, and then up to her clit, massaging it between my fingers. I switch sides of her neck, and trace her lips with my finger, letting her take it into her mouth and suck on it, long and slow.

She wraps her legs around me, pulling me closer to her. I reach down and run the head of my cock back and forth, parting her lips, playing with her, teasing her. I pause just as I'm about to enter her, feeling that glorious warmth encompass me. I look deep into her eyes and slide slowly into her. All the way into her, both of us shuddering as I slide back out to the very opening. This continues for a few strokes, as i can feel the heat rising inside her and i ramp up the tempo. I lean back, taking both her legs in my arms. Getting some leverage we settle into a hard, faster rhythm. Her ass slapping against my hips. That ever so sweet sound of the wetness between us tells me she's close as she mouths between moans, “Don't stop. Don't stop. Don't stop.” I feel my head feeling to swell, just as her legs start to shake and she clamps down on me, sending an electricity down through me, making me stiffen and unload into her.

Standing there holding each other trying to catch our breathe, she says, ”I'm sorry. This is all I want.”

“Yesterday is the past, and there's nothing we can do to change it, so there's no point dwelling on it.” pulling her closer, “This is the present, and hopefully the future.” I say.