My first crush |
I don't know why I was infatuated with him. He was just some kid. I was in kindergarten when I can remember first liking the kid. That young? Yes that young. I remember my first kiss was at the swing set. He had me at a dio and then all of a sudden,boom, kiss. I can't tell you who initiated it, probably me. But to me it was everything. Everyone saw it. The whole kindergarten class was lined up to go back inside. We were the only two stragglers. I laugh now and think what the hell was I thinking? Kindergarten? Kissing? Ugh my poor mother. After that I had the biggest crush on B. As we grew older it never faded. Even when he dated other girls or crushed on someone else. In my world he was like my everything. I wanted nothing more then to be his girlfriend but as luck would have it I was the ugly duckling. No boys liked me, not in that way. I was to shy to say anything so I got left. People that I grew up with became acquaintances. Cliques became a thing and I was never popular, which is what B was. He was popular, he had it all together and I was the ugly duckling. By the time middle school came around he was gone. He moved and my heart broke. Until one day in 8th grade I see him with another classmate. I guess he was here visiting and he got to come and hang out. Everyone was excited to see him. Including me. Did he notice me? Probably not. Did he talk to me? No. I went on with my day. I had a basketball game that afternoon and if I couldn't excel in the look department, I was going to excel in sports. I played with my heart and body. I had no problem being aggressive and my coaches liked that. He went to the game. I played well. More than well. Only cuz he was there. I wanted to impress him. I wanted him to see that I was something amazing. After the game I never spoke nor saw him again. With social media on the rise i did find him. I did friend him. I've talked to him but that's all. I wonder if he'll ever know or care that he started the asshole trend? That he began the downfall of me? |