Savior

I swear I'm fine
The lie told so often, it becomes second nature.
The fake smile, hiding the cracks beneath the surface,
He is thinking about something else, and all she can think about is losing him.
She will be losing her life line soon, she can't seem to cope.

Her demons howled her name, without him, she would have no protection from their painful realities.
She had been hiding behind this wall of his beautiful words.
He was speaking, but she heard no noise, her friends accused her of being withdrawn
She was taking down the wall of beautiful words and locking them away in a place where her demons could not reach.
She kept quiet because of all the things she had wanted to say, but it was too late, she already missed her chances.

He smiled, and she faked one as well, numb to it all.
She looked to the fading scars on her wrists and could only begin to imagine the horror that would follow his absence.
She took a breath, as if to steady herself, she had been working up to this all month.
They bid their final farewells and she left for the final time.
She returned to her lonely home and threw her bag on the couch. It was time.

She had never wanted them to see this, but it was a battle she always knew she would lose.
She had never been so calm, always fighting back and forth in her mind.
She had decided today was the day.
After she had done it, she watched the blood drip and pool on the floor.
She closed her eyes and thought that she had been a failure, and a coward, all realities she had accepted years before.


He picked out a dark suit to wear, possibly the one from her graduation.
He couldn't believe that she had been in so much pain and had never once told him.
He remembered all of the comments she had made, and told himself it was his fault for not realizing she was crying out for his help.
It was raining outside, and he remembered how she had liked to stand in the bitter drops.
He had taught her for three years, had gotten to know her, and had never once realized that she might be in that much pain.

He stood at her funeral, and couldn't look her parents in the eye.
She looked up at him from the depths of Hell and tried to tell him that it was her fault, everything had been her fault.
He felt guilty about telling her not to make self deprecating jokes, he told her that he had come from a lot worse.
He realized she had left a puzzle of cries for help and he didn't even notice.
He looked back and realized just how little she seemed to smile.

He flinched when he remembered how her friend had tried to tell him but she had pushed her away.
She wanted him to be able to smile again, he was too happy of a guy to not smile.
She never meant to hurt him, she just wanted the pain to stop.
He looked at his kids and thought about how kind she had been, how timid she was when she was alone.
He thought about the things she had told him about the others and was enraged he had never tried to help.

She knew that she had ruined his life, she never wanted that to happen.
He realized that he could have saved her but never did, he felt guilty about not seeing it sooner.
She wanted him to know that he had been saving her from this reality from day one, he was only prolonging an end sure to come.
He felt guilty about noticing the scars on her wrists months earlier and telling himself that it was an accident.
She felt as if she had killed him as she had done herself.
He never looked at anybody the same, not even his children.
She hated herself even more for doing harm to yet another person.
He realized she had told him a little about her life and he dismissed it, and told himself that those were the worst things.
She had only told him the good things, and never wanted to burden him with the bad.
He wept over her grave, he had the power to help her, and never did.

She realized she destroyed yet another life.{/center}