Final chapter

My Last breath!

My story isn't over just yet;
So here we go ....
I thought to myself Will anyone notice before its to late,
Well, I guess this was my fate
Im Sorry you thought I over exaggerated
Those words were the ones I mostly hated
Im sorry for all the shit ive caused
The amount of times ive stopped myself and paused
Putting everyone else's needs first
Watching myself slowly burst!
Im sorry I didn't look back
I tried to put my life back on track!
I suddenly had an epiphany
so I finally started concentrating on me!
My demon took over,
Guess im not lucky like a 4 leaf clover
So i started thinking how this could all end
Then the thought of my own death became my best friend!
The more I thought of it
The less I felt shit
And the more It goes through my head
The more I really wanted to be dead
I finally realized my own destiny
And i thought about it very carefully
People will say It was selfish of me
But you gotta do what makes you happy
I spent most nights curled up crying on the floor
So I came to the conclusion I couldn't do this anymore,
You will never truly understand how I feel
Until my last breath nothing ever seemed real!
I sat for ages trying to write this note
Tears falling, with a guilty lump in my throat
Trying to figure out what to say,
Im sorry I left you all, this way!
put up a picture of me on your shelf,
And please dont ever blame yourself!
I dont want you all to fall apart
All because I had a broken heart!
Im sorry, but I was broken on the inside
something I could no longer hide
the pressure became too much
I lost all touch,
All touch With reality
I was no longer happy.
I felt so alone and empty
Again I am really sorry
I tried to find good things in life,
But I would always fall back to the knife!

I was something that could not be fixed
All my emotions and feelings were all mixed
I didn't want you all to think I was looking for attention!
Ive planned this for ages it was my intention
Im sorry I couldn't speak to any of you,
even if I did, you wouldn't understand what I had to go through!
I couldn't deal with the little voices in my head,
My only escape was to be dead
There is nothing anyone could of done to help me
This was the only way I could be free!
Mom, How could I tell you "I wanna die
I didn't know how to say goodbye
Im sorry for the pain ive brought
Ill be forever in your thoughts
You've read this now ive took my last breath
Im sorry for leaving you to deal with my death
You will shred a couple of tears
And it might take you all a couple of years,
But all of you will get through this
As I send you all a gentle kiss!!
I felt empty and alone,
Even when we all sat talking at home,
Remember, When we would talk about when we were all younger
Back in the day we were all stronger
Nothing would get in the way of our bond,
Forever and always from there and beyond
Everyone assumed I was strong
Sorry but you were all wrong!
I came across as the tough guy
Im now an Angel above the sky.
Not everything is what it may seem
Its abit more extreme
I dont want anyone to get it twisted,
but in A year or so you'll forget I ever existed
Please dont be sad!
Please dont get mad!
My thoughts and struggles were to strong within
I was fighting a war that I couldn't win.
Mj really needed me,
We did it boy, finally free
My story has finally come to an end
I no longer have to pretend!
And i no longer cry,
Im so sorry for the way I said goodbye......