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Rated: 18+ · Short Story · Satire · #2161911
Family drama!
“You May now kiss the bride!” My decrepit groom lifted my veil and tried to swallow my face with a kiss. Calmly I had to remind myself that this was a means to an end, a job to be done. Really I couldn’t wait for the whole thing to be over with. I was sick of feigning headaches to avoid sex with him. After the whole I want to wait until marriage thing backfired in my face, I had to accept his marriage proposal.

“I can’t wait until tonight.” He raised his eyebrows in a way that he thought was seductive but really made me want to run to the bathroom and throw up. My husband grabbed my rear and squeezed. “It’s been far too long.”

If it never happened again, it would be far too soon. The old man thought he was getting something special when I seduced him but as his son had figured out, there was an ulterior motive for me being with the old fart.

After failing to seduce Roger, his son, I had found out that he had a secret of his own and blackmailed him into silence. I leaned in and whispered, “We’re going to do things tonight that you’ve never dreamed of.”

The Old Man stumbled back, grabbed his chest, and collapsed as the guests gasped and started shouting orders. How was a bride supposed to react in this situation? Was there etiquette?

From the back of the chapel, someone shouted that they had called an ambulance. That sucked. Brides were supposed to get what they wanted on their big day. Whoever called the paramedics would get a visit from a dark guest soon. Trying to ruin my wedding day by saving my husband’s life. How rude.

Roger walked over to me and sneered, “I don’t know what you did to my father, but I will find out and make you pay for it.”

Why did everyone want to ruin my happiness? Apparently, they had no respect for etiquette or me not having to have sex with the crypt keeper. “It’s not like I killed him, he had a heart attack in front of everyone here!”

My phone vibrated in my bra. I looked around and ran out of the room. Hopefully, no one followed me. Once I made sure that no one had, I went into the bathroom and locked the door. I called the number back, “He’s dead. No, I didn’t do it. The son might be a problem until I tell everyone that he’s been sleeping with his Father’s business partner. The path is clear for me to take over and get what I need to get.”

I clicked the end button and shoved the phone back into my bra. After taking a deep breath, I opened the door and found that pesky Roger waiting for me. “Whatever it is that you think is going to happen, it’s not. My father’s legacy will not be tarnished by you.”

“No, it’ll be tarnished by his son and business partner playing hide the salami. How do you think the customers will view the company after that little revelation?”

“You’re an evil, sadistic woman!”

“That’s step-mommy to you!” I shouted after him.

After the funeral, which Roger tried to keep me away from, the attorney asked us to meet him at the law office where he practiced. The billions that were promised to me every time I laid down in bed with that old man.

“I hope you’re prepared to walk away with nothing.” It was funny when Roger tried to act tough. It was like Strawberry Shortcake getting an edgy reboot; some things just don’t work. “If not I will challenge and contest the will until you lose everything.”

“Listen Cupcake, you mess with me, and I’ll release that little video that I have of you and Charles making the beast with two backs, watch the stock lose all value and a raider come in and buy it all up.”

“You could do that, but I’ll be forced to tell everyone that you’re a bigamist. Yeah, your first husband is still alive and in a coma. I’m pretty sure that would land you in jail, maybe even worse if you are the cause of your husband’s condition.” Who knew that Strawberry Shortcake had fangs that could leave a mark? I had to find a way to get rid of him, once and for all. Maybe throwing him through a window. The big glass pages behind him looked fun to push him out of. “And don’t bother trying to kill me, if anything happens I have it set up that the police get a copy of everything I know. You should walk away from this situation with what you brought into it.”

“Oh no. I deserve this money. I had sex with that man, twice. Do you know how disgusting that was?”

“At least you’re honest that you weren’t marrying him for love. I’m guessing your lover is the reason you went after my father. You are seeing Arnold Andrews, right?”

“Arnold is my father, but yes, he is the reason that I went after your father. And the reason why soon, this company will merge with his.” Without giving much thought to what I was doing, I rushed at him. My hope was to get him through the window without being seen.

Alas, he was much swifter on his feet than I expected and he moved out of my way. I tried to stop running but tripped. My body went through the window; I was half in and half out. Roger would pull me back in, but that meant I would have to be nice. Damnit.

A force pushed me through the window. As my body fell to the ground, I looked up to see Roger watching me fall. My last thought was about what the press said about me and the crypt keeper; They said it wouldn't last.
© Copyright 2018 Author Ed Anderson (spaz11081 at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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