Concussion

Concussion

April 2016, O'Fallon, Illinois, raining, humid, but for reasons I cannot explain, I felt anxious. It was third period, PE, and we were in the wrestling room. I hated this room with a burning passion because it lacked windows, which caused the musty smell of sweat. But it was the safest room to play my favorite game at the time, human foosball, because of the padding on the floor and walls. My PE class played human foosball with six rows of five or six people in each row so there was offense, defense, and center for each team. We had to be on the ground, crab walking, and we could use any part of the body except for our arms and hands. We used a giant exercise ball. However, this time though was different, we used two exercise balls instead of just one. I was in the middle playing center, which was the worst place to be that day because it was difficult to see where the balls were at certain points.

We were all having fun and laughing which made me forget about my anxious feelings from before, and I relaxed. I wasn't paying any attention to the ball that was behind me, only the ball that I was going after against my friend Alison. We were hitting it back and forth before the ball got some air and was able to kick it right over her head. As that happens, I hear the sound of the rubber ball being kicked from directly behind me. I then felt a sharp pain in the back of my head and heard the bouncing ball right behind me. Some of the girls gasped while others were still laughing and playing. I was hit from a short distance range by the ball. I reached for the back of my head as a natural reflex and put all my weight on my right arm. All I felt was the back of my head throbbing, and the first things that came to my mind were
Ow My head is pounding
son of a bitch
that hurt what the fuck
Who did that ow ow

Ow

I turned my head to the right to see who was the one that kicked the ball, but Bam! Struck again by the other ball on the left side of my head, where my left frontal lobe was and where I have my Cerebral Palsy. My right arm gave out because of how weak it was due to my Cerebral Palsy. Unable to stop myself, I collapsed to the ground, hitting the back of my head on the blue and gold mats below.

Ow it hurts stop

thump thump make it stop

why thump thump

The thumping of my heart muffled my hearing, but I could hear my other friend, Cammie, who was on the right side of me, ask if I was alright. Naturally, I nodded my head yes, because that is what I always say when I'm in pain.

I shook it off and I started to push myself up when I looked at Cammie once again. She kept quickly looking at me and then behind me. Confused, I looked where she was looking. Then I realized she was pointing to the directions where the balls came from. Who they came from. I turned over and looked behind me and then to my left and realized who they were.

Both girls showed animosity towards me and this wasn't the first time. They were bullies who liked to cause others physical harm and I was the only one who stood up to them and they didn't like that. They have tried countless times to hurt me before, but all have failed. The day before while playing kickball in PE, the same girls were aiming the ball at me while I was running. They would chuck the red ball as hard as they could at my head, but I dodged each one. I was too quick for them. Except for this day when I was unable to protect myself. I turned back around and continued to play. How could I have been so stupid to continue playing, when a part of me knew something wasn't right? If I had gone with my gut feeling, would I still be playing lacrosse? Would I be happier if I did?