48-HOUR CHALLENGE: In Your Arms

It's All Greek To Me
Mastiff

Although I very much like this song, it makes me a little sad. It reminds me of the difference between loving and being in love. When I say that, it's akin to the differences the Greeks had for what we call love. They actually had four words for it, and honestly, maybe they had it right. I'm not sure anyone has really defined it much better, at least in those general terms. I believe I've experienced all of them, but now, one is no longer within my grasp. I did it, too. So be careful of the deals you make with yourself, because sometimes they end up defining a big part of your life.

This song clearly involves what the Greeks would term érōs, which is a mostly sexual love, along with perhaps agápē, which can refer to a spouse. Or even God's love for man, if that actually exists, I sure don't know. But I have been in love and know the wonder of it, but twice I was burned and hurt, and it's never gone away. Can I remember back and understand how that feels? Oh yes, I still can. I made a promise after the second time that I would never put my heart out like that again, and thirty years later, have not. I believe for awhile it was a very conscious effort on my part to do that, but over the years it's just become part of who I am.

I love my family dearly, my former sister excluded, but that's different. Add to that the fact my life has almost always been taking care of others, and I can only understand the song. I can't feel it inside ... not anymore. I don't recall a time when I've been in someone's arms, as a grown man, and had someone say, "I got this. You've got nothing to worry about." I often wonder how that feels, and I have my doubts I will ever know.

But don't feel sorry for me! It's not that I'm not loved, I know I am. My people love me right back in the way I do them, I expect. And, if the Greeks missed anything, it was a word for the unconditional love of a rescue dog! I highly recommend it if you have the space and means to have one.

The other reason not to feel too bad reading this is the reality that I not only chose to close myself off from a certain love, but I've always been a provider and protector. It just seems to be in my nature, as I started working at fourteen and have never really stopped. I once lived with four other people. One stayed home with my son, one had back problems, another would be as lazy as you'd let him, and then the last. She took a job at a close by burger joint and lasted about three hours. Then she literally ran out of the place screaming. I assume someone asked her to pull the fries up in a mean tone. She was an odd duck.

Once again, though, don't feel sorry for me. I picked this life, and there have been some wondrous times and I've seen and done amazing things. So, I'll just wish all of you lovers out there the best of luck in each others arms.