Twa From A Tree: IV: Ah Forbid Ya

Janet kilted her green kirtle, a little above her knee, and she lifted her golden hair a bit above her brow, and she went to Carterhaugh, as fast as she knew how. She tied her horse up at an oak tree at the edge of the wood, and then tiptoed carefully in. She walked for ten minutes, until, from out of the bracken, there leapt an old knight, with a white beard which hung to his waist, dressed in rusty plate armour, and wielding a blunt sword in his hand.

He began reciting a poem, (which he knew off by heart), as a warning to her to not go any further.

"O Ah Forbid Ya, Maidens A',
Who Wear Gowd On Yer Hair!
Tae Cam Or Gie By Carterha',
For Young Tam Lin Is There!"

" Good Morning, Sir Orfeo." Janet said, curtseying to the elderly knight, all too aware of how insane he was. She tried to step past him when he started upon reciting another verse.

"If Ya Gie By Carterha',
Ya Must Leave Him A Wad!
Either Yer Rings, Or Yer Green Mantles,
Or Else Yer Maidenhead!"

"Sir Orfeo, Why're ya here exactly?"

"Aye, Lass, 'tis a hoora important question that, and 'tis a simple one to answer. Many yonks ago, me wife Herodis was kidnapped by the King of the Faeries, while Ah was oot a-huntin'. So Ah had tae gie aal the wa' tae Faerieland to get her back, an' ever since, Ah've been afeard o' the possibility that some other friend or relative o' mine would suffer bein' stolen awa'. In addition, Ah've taen it upon mesel' to protect the fair maidens o' this town, so's this disnae happen to them."

"Why, lass, are ye here, exactly?"

"Ah'm here tae meet wi' Tam."

"What? Tam Lin? Tam "Ah'd shag a coo if Ah was gaen three quid" Lin? What's a quinie girl lyke yersel doin' in love with him?"

"The thing aboot the coo was a joke. He didnae mean that he'd actually do that sorta thing. We first met twa years ago. Under that tree o'er there."

She gestured to a nearby ash tree. "Ye see him as some kind o' scunner, but Ah see another side tae him. Ah recall, Ah was passin' through here, coming to that specific tree so that Ah could sit and read in peace. Me father never lyked me reading. Now Ah was there, reading aboot the the adventures of Bevis of Hampton, and Ah'd plucked a double-rose, and Ah was smellin' it, when a lad aboot me own age dropped doon from the tree, and fell on top of me."

"He grinned, and spak tae me, saying "Lady, thou's pu' nae mae? Why pu's thou me rose, madam, and why sits thou 'neath me tree, and why cams thou to Carterhaugh, withouten leave of me?" Ah responded, likewise in rhyme, so's to humour him, "Carterhaugh it is me own, it is me father's land, Ah'll cam or gie to Carterhaugh, withouten ye at hand!" He laughed, and asked of me, "What's yer name then, maid?". Ah responded, "Me name's Janet, and, may I ask, who are ye, ye look for aal the world lyke a broom of straw bound up in a suit of clothes!"

He said, "Me name's Tam Lin, and me grandfather is the Laird o' Roxburgh, and the reason why me hair's as such is because Ah've lost me kaim. Have ye got one?" And Ah told him--""

Here Sir Orfeo interrupted. "Janet," he exclaimed, looking her up and down, "Ah think ye..."
He trailed off. "Ye think what?"

"Ah think ye gaes with child."

"Sir Orfeo, are ye drunk?"

"Nae, miss," he swore, trying desperately to hide the conspicuous cider jug which stuck out of the bush behind. "Ah swear, on me mam's grave--"

"And where is yer mother's grave?"

"In England."

"And whereaboots?"

"Ah... Ah... Ah dinnae remember."

"Exactly. So ye are, in point o' fact, drunk."

"Aye."

"For shame, Sir, for shame. Yer on guard, shouldn't ye be sobre? If yer s'posed tae be guardin' the town's maidens from elves, should ye not be sobre?"

Orfeo nodded his head dejectedly.

"Here," Janet handed him a small felt pouch.
"There's a Turkish merchant visiting the town, who's stayin' here a week, selling his wares, before gannin' back to his homeland. He's selling a drink which he calls "Qoffi", which he claims is a good cure for drunkenness i' a man. Please kindly gan tae him and buy a cup of Qoffi from him, so that ye can become sobre."

Orfeo nodded his head in acknowledgement of his foolishness, took the money-pouch, laid down his sword, and strode away from Janet, marching off in the direction of the town.

Janet ventured slightly further into the wood, came to the ash tree, and sat down underneath it. She lay back, her back rubbing against the bark, sighed in relaxation, and thought of when she first met Tam Lin.

After Tam Lin had asked her about whether or not she had a comb, she'd replied "Nay Sir, Ah have neither kaim nor brush, but Ah will run me fingers through yer hair, if ya lyke."

Tam Lin, who wouldn't pass up the opportunity to