Finding Grace

Once again, Grace found herself on her knees, crying out in frustration. So much had happened in the past year, she felt so overwhelmed. Her husband had betrayed her and hurt her worse than she ever thought possible. She found the courage to finally stand up for herself, which meant leaving. She was forced to face many different opinions on her choice, not all friendly opinions. She had lost a few friendships. She had even had a car accident, although thankfully it wasn't anything horrible (although her car did get totaled). Not all of the change was bad though; she had moved in with dear friends, gotten quite involved in her church, and even found an amazing job. She couldn't help feeling lost, feeling incomplete, and feeling worthless.

Grace tried to keep in contact for awhile with her ex husband, hoping against all hope that things would work out. It simply wasn't going to happen. Seeing his family at every service was very difficult, even though they were all more than kind to her through it all. Grace didn't tell a single soul at church about her circumstance. She prayed that, no matter what happened between her and him, that her ex husband would find his way back to church and live for God again. She knew that would be difficult if everyone knew the circumstances and judged him on his past, so she kept things between herself, her family, and her Pastor.

Grace knew divorce was inevitable. The thought of it filled her with dread. She went to a lawyer, spoke things over with him, and got paperwork to fill out. Every time Grace put her pen to the papers, her hand trembled. She simply couldn't do it. She couldn't explain it, she just knew she couldn't do it.

Grace prayed for nearly a year, then realized one night what God had been trying to tell her all along. She needed to move...she needed to get away...she needed to find herself. So she did. She moved halfway across the country to be more precise.

Grace had family there, so she didn't move alone. She started over, got involved in her new church, started a new job, and even bought her own car, in her own name. She joined her church's sign team and gained some much needed confidence. She had a situation at her work where she surprised herself by standing up for herself. It ended up costing her her job, but she was proud of herself nonetheless. Grace's ex husband ended up filing for divorce, and Grace legally changed back to her maiden name.

After awhile Grace felt God calling her back home. Her sister had a 10 month old and was expecting her second child. Her sister in law was also expecting a second child. Grace called where she had worked before and was able to get the exact same position at the exact same pay. She also had some amazing friends she could room with. Once again, everything was also falling into place.

In the middle of all this, Grace had met a wonderful man. They were talking, getting to know each other. All seemed to be going so well. She talked to him nearly her entire 22 hour drive across the country. She was falling for him, fast and hard.

When Grace was about an hour from her destination, she got a phone call. It was Mr. Wonderful. He had decided to work things out with a former girlfriend. Grace was, of course, broken hearted. It wasn't her first heartbreak however, and this time, she knew what to do.

Grace chose to believe in herself regardless. She chose to put on a happy face and not waste tears better spent in prayer. Grace was reentering the dating world and figured this would probably happen often. She decided to let it make her stronger, not bring her down into depression again.

Later that week, Grace walked back into her home church with a smile on her face and strength in her soul. Regardless of what people thought, Grace knew she didn't run away. She had simply found Grace.