First Love is hard. Doesn’t always end well. |
My First Love The day I met you I looked into your eyes and knew you would break my heart You said all the right things at first at all the right times. You lips were like heroine You made so many promises that always seemed to fall through I wanted love so badly that I settled for you You had a look in your eyes like many demons do But you said “Babe I Love You” There he is ladies and gentlemen with all the right words. I looked past the lies and all the bs Because I loved you and that was it After awhile I stayed in your bed I ached for your warmth when you were away I knew about the other girls and what did you say “Babe I would never sleep with them I only talk to them to see if I can” Little by little you ripped at my heart And little by little I fell apart 6 months roll by and I feel that I need you I wanted love so badly I just stayed with you You criticized my family, my mental health, and everything about me You wanted to make sure I would feel nobody else wanted me. Well A+ to you Seems that’s the only thing you did well Everything I had I gave to you as well Then one day I said the wrong thing I found your hand around my throat and the cold yellow painted wall against my head Open fist warmed my cheek as tears ran down You saw the look of fear in my eyes and enjoyed it You promised me you didn’t mean it Few weeks roll by and we are back to normal You kept your promise for once that it wouldn’t happen again At least so I thought One day I found her number in your phone. The topic of conversation was me “Why are you with her she’s such a pig” To her you have no response Nothing You said nothing which brought a cold to my heart I asked You freaked I tried to leave but you grabbed me by the wrist and threw me on the floor Told me I wasn’t going anywhere because you were all I had Nobody would want a girl like me You slapped me and I swear I could hear bells ringing My family never liked you and I wanted to tell But instead I wore sweater to cover the marks and makeup to conceal the swells I loved you with everything I had till I had nothing left We got in our last fight and you drew blood All I heard was god telling me to run In a time I lost my faith he whispered in my ear You are loved and you are better I told my parents I was leaving The first time I had seen them since my sister told them the truth The crack in my dads voice made my bones ache I knew it was wrong dad but I loved him to much I was convinced I was nothing with out him But that was never your fault My parents are relationship goals in my eyes But I settled for way less Now he’s with a new girl and texts me sometimes He realizes he screwed up and I’m doing fine I’m sure she’s a great girl but she’s not me I’ve moved on and so should he God saved me that day I am so blessed you see All along I was looking for love but I always had god and my family with me -Bella Taylor |