Save A Child

Save A Child
Scooter Van Neuter

As I mentioned yesterday, the Pope has shamed Sissy into wanting some kids. The good news is, after working on this the last couple days I think we're close to finally becoming proud parents!

Sissy's choice was originally either a Swedish or Norwegian girl, as they'd make the most attractive Christmas cards. I wasn't happy with her shallow reasoning, as next to buying a new car, having children is one of the most important things a couple will do in their life. I'm not willing to reduce a lifetime decision down to something as superficial as mere physical appearance!

Especially after I found out that every tribal member of the Shakopee Mdewakanton Tribe in Minnesota receives over $84K a month from casino proceeds! Look, we've all seen the depressing shows about lottery winners and how they destroy their lives - the realization of what that kind of dough would do to any normal person, let alone a savage redskin Indian Native American, rendered the thought of getting any other kind of child absolutely unthinkable.

I've already placed ads in several Minnesota newspapers looking to adopt a Shakopee Mdewakanton child up to the age of 37 (they're simply too hard to train past that age). A few minutes ago, Sissy, who I'm guessing was thinking about the Pope again, cautioned me against the sin of adultery, but said if I ever do adulter, that I should do it on the Shakopee Mdewakanton Indian reservation in Minnesota.

Maybe I'll go up and just check it out.