Don’t Laugh

My name is Howard Johnson. Yeah, don’t even think about it, I’ve already heard all the hotel jokes, so save your breath. Just listen to what I’m about to tell you.

I walked into my favorite coffee shop this morning, and no it wasn’t Starbucks. Don’t laugh, but it’s called Bland Coffee Shop, no I’m not making it up, that’s what it’s called. What is funny is there are no booths. Only large circle shaped tables to sit at.

I haven’t even got to the weird part. I placed my usual order, and paid for it. When the waitress handed me my coffee, she also handed me a sealed package. I asked who left it and she didn’t know. I accepted it and sat down to drink my coffee, and noticed in big red letters it read urgent across the top of the package. Now I was even more curious. I broke the seal, and opened the package, and a green powdery substance filled my nostrils. I hesitated, but I just couldn’t resist to see what else was inside, because I’ve always been more curious than cautious. I pulled out a small box that was latched. I slowly opened it, and a small creature unlike any I had ever seen crawled on to my hand, smiled, and then bit me. I shook him off and he ran away. I looked around and it was like everyone was moving in slow motion.

I noticed there was a sheet of paper inside the package. I took it out and it read you have just been vaccinated and immunized, and are ready for transport.

The rest is history, I now live on Mars with my new green Martian friends. I run a hotel for alien travelers. It’s called Howard Johnson’s.