All Of My Peices

Makalia Marie Vos

The Rant
He broke me, He shattered my heart in the palms of his hands and watched the pieces fall to the ground where he danced on them until they turned to ashes. It was a power he craved. It was a cold hard lying and cheating abuse. It amazes me how someone like him could use someone like me in ways of torture and terror while for some reason I stayed like the good dog I was taught to be. Following, knowing, listening, breaking. That’s what I am broken. Once again in the never ending cycle all because I found my soulmate. People lie to us, tell us that we will find our perfect match and be happy...but it’s all lies. I found mine and I’m more bruised and shredded than before. Every part of me aches in agonizing pain and yet there is nothing i can do to relieve it. When I lay my head down every night, staring at my room, wondering what he’s out there doing...or who… it’s all lies I tell you everything he says but I can’t leave, mostly because I am forced to stay by God.

My story Peice 1: Understanding
I could feel the difference, the coldness in his hands when he touched me… I could feel the lies flow through his blood. Even when he kissed me...it was no longer the same. But I should have known, from day one seven years ago when I met him in that dumb eighth grade classroom all he would cause is pain...I can feel that kind of stuff you know? Like when one of your best friends is upset and you ask what’s wrong and they say nothing. You know it’s a lie but sometimes you just sit back and don’t push the situation further because you are afraid it will only make things worse. Or when for some reason your brain tells you to do something and maybe you don’t know why but in the end you find out something you didn’t know before? Well believe it or not that’s typically the case with him. You see I’m not just saying this because I’m a girl or because I think I’m psychic (I don’t believe in that hocus pocus) but I know everything, every move anyone makes or anything they think. I can feel it. Sometimes it’s just a weird rush of adrenaline that gives me goosebumps and other times it’s a strange and unique belly tightening and churning feeling that makes me faint. All the none I know...I feel everything… My parents call it a “sickness” but I know it’s only because they are afraid to accept the truth. They are afraid to accept the fact that I might be a little more than just human. When I was born April 16, 1987 I was born with no heart beat. My heart had been still for seventeen minutes and nine seconds. Doctors had literally given up on me and told both my parents I was dead and there was no way to revive me, and they were right human hearts can’t be shocked to life after ten minutes of becoming still but as soon as they handed my mother my cold blue motionless body that all changed. My mother tells me that as soon as they put me in her arms I began to cry and everyone in the room became petrified including her. I had broke human history but only with one small glitch. It was impossible. The hospital had doctors from all around the world and country come to try and find an explanation they did tests and scans...everything was normal. The creepiest thing however was that even though my brain had lost significantly lots of oxygen, I was a perfectly fine baby. I learned to walk and speak normally, I could count and see colors...the only thing that my parents had found to be strange was my ability to sense and know. But unlike me they didn’t see it as a positive. They took it as a negative much like everything else in our lives. Oh and the best part is they won’t take me to church… actually I’m not even baptised. The reason for that is a different, crazier story though. It has to do with this weirdo witch lady who basically told my parents if I ever were to step inside a church or so much as barely even touch a bible or holy water I would burn...little did she know… not all angels are born with a halo.

Piece 2: One more time
His foot dug into my side with hard repeating drilling kicks. Everyone of them bringing on the next. I screamed.
“Stop! Stop! Please!” My cries did no good. He grabbed my hair and picked me up my body was nearly numb. “It hurts! I beg! Please!” My head slammed against the wall hard. He let me fall one last time. I hate you I thought. I hate you so much. He stood above me.
“Think you’re smarter than me? Think you are- are- are better than me? Your nothing!” He took heavy breaths. Staring at my body. “You shouldn’t even be here.”
I felt like my heart had been ripped out with his words. I screamed again but this time out of anger. Stay with him. Stay. The voice repeated in my head. You are strong Adeline you can take it. Stay. I curled my fist. I pulled myself to my knees.
“Why do you do this? Why do you hurt me like this?” The basement was black but yet I could see Kramen’s shadow smile. I looked at the ceiling above me, praying to God wanting him to answer me. Wanting him to see me. He did this to me. He is the reason this is happening. Perhaps God is more the Devil. I stopped. How could I think something like that? If it weren’t for God I wouldn’t be here at all. I close my hands together and pray. I am sorry God, but please save me for my strength is low and my faith is running with it. I cry for you, I beg of you. Please. Please. Save me one more time.
“You really think he’s real? You really think that dumb myth is gonna save you? You got lucky the first time but I promise you won’t be the second.” He grabbed my wrist and pulled me forward my knees falling out from under me. I whined and bit my lip hard. I could taste the iron in my blood. Kramen sent his last kick into my thigh before laughing and walking up the stairs slamming the door behind him. The sooner you make him believe I thought, the sooner you will be free.

Piece 3: Screaming in Prayer
I curled myself up against the basement wall. It hurt to even move. Every inch of my body felt like it was covered in bruises. Tears ran down my face now. Out of all the people in this cruel world why did this have to happen to me. Why did I have to be chosen. I don’t want to do this anymore. I want to be free, happy, beautiful. Everytime I walk outside people look and stare at me in horror. I was once a beautiful and delicate girl, respected and loved by everyone I was the angel in whom I was sent here to be, now I’m nothing but a worn rag left in this world to rot and die. I had been given a mission of the impossible. To make the cruelest man have faith in God. I can’t lie, if it weren’t for his voice, if it weren’t for his presence in my dreams… I would not have faith. Even I an Angel. For God is like my father I guess, he pushes me and yells at me and gets angry with me; all to teach me a lesson and make me stronger. But this is too much. It has gone too far.
My lips quivered and I began to calm myself. The basement quickly became cold and humid. I could feel him watching me. Even from the height he stood of all the people on his wild planet; he was looking at me. I clasped my hands again and bowed my head. I could not bring myself to my knees for they were bruised and the pain was too much to handle.
I feel you. I hear you. I know you are there. But why God oh why did you do this to me? You have other Angels, more beautiful Angels, smarter Angels. Just tell me why! I’m tired of this pain, I am scared. I know that I am strong but he is killing me. I know that if I die again, I will not come back and if I fail my last mission I know that I will not be admitted into heaven. But please all I crave are your answers. I love you, I worship you, I serve you please God please.
The air became colder but yet I kept my eyes closed hoping he would respond, hoping he would answer me. Please I thought. Please. I felt pressure on my shoulder, it spread over my back I knew he was still there. I knew he was thinking. And as I asked he responded.
My beautiful Adeline, you may not be the smartest or prettiest but you are the only one who can finish this task. The man that just hurt you, the man that you claim you hate. He loves you. And only you. For he can never love anyone else because no one else can ever love him. You love him Adeline. We both know you do. He is not always this way, look back to the times you laughed, sang, and kissed. Remember those feelings and let those feelings guide your strength. Do not lose faith in me Adeline, for your reward is yet to come. Tomorrow you must see your family. You’re mother misses you greatly. Go to bed now my angel, for I will keep you safe.
I released my hands and opened my eyes. My body had calmed but the pain remained.
“Thank you.” I whispered. “Thank you.”
I leaned against the wall and managed to awkwardly push myself up. My lungs felt like they had collapsed in and every ounce of energy was drained. “Kramen.” I called my fiance’s name in hope his temper had gone. “Kramen.” I could hear the basement door open and he began to walk down the stairs. The lights flickered on and as he turned around the corner I could see his face was red and puffy from crying. His eyes were bloodshot and the veins in his arms stuck out. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me. I whimpered and tried hard not to shake. The thought, the feeling of him beating me only a few minutes ago retraced itself in my brain and I was unable to ignore it.
“I’m so so sorry Adeline.” I nodded. “I don’t know what happened this time, I just freaked out… Adeline please...never leave me.” I faked a smile and leaned into him.
“I can’t.” I replied.