Bubble Bass' New Job - Chapter One

The last day of school is thought of as the start of a long, almost forever break from school to many. On the rare occasion somebody actually likes school, they usually are antisocial nerds whose life goal seems to be pleasing the teacher. However, for Bubble Bass, the start of summer signaled something entirely different. You see, his dad walked out on the family while Bubble Bass was only four, leaving his mom to drink away her sorrows. King Neptune's increasing alcohol tax, combined with the fact that the family already had some financial struggles sent the Basses into a downward spiral. First, his mom would get blackout drunk to fill the void his dad left. Then, she would go out to by some more alcohol, even though she had very little money. Last, she would binge drink due to the fact they had no money. That's a solid twelve years of alcohol abuse, which left his mother a mess, both literally and psychologically. It also caused Bubble Bass to be insecure, which triggered the bullying of SpongeBob and many others just like him.

But on this fateful day, Bubble Bass had mixed feelings about school being out for the summer. I mean, he'd have to spend the entire summer with his verbally abusive mom, but on the plus side, there's no school! Plus, he and his friends could go around vandalizing property and messing with Krabs' mom, which would be hilarious. Bubble Bass still hadn't made up his mind on whether summer would be a blast or three months of nonstop getting yelled at by his drunken mom, when the warning bell rung for his first period class.

Bubble Bass shoved his things in his locker, and ran just slow enough through the halls so the teachers wouldn't pull him aside to give him a long lecture about the dangers of running in the halls. Peeking into the classroom, he saw Patrick making a scene about him needing to use the bathroom.

Patrick repeatedly yelled "YO NECESITO IR AL BANO!" Which translates into 'I need to go to the bathroom' in Spanish. He would have yelled it in English, but the Spanish teacher, Mr. Roderick, had a strict Spanish only policy in his room. How Patrick managed to string together that sentence, Bubble Bass would never know, but it was amusing nonetheless. Since he had a pretty good sense of when the bell was going to ring, Bubble Bass walked in just seconds before it rung. At this point, Patrick was dancing around the room screaming "ES UNA EMERGENCIA!" which translates into 'It's an emergency.' For a brain dead starfish, Patrick could speak decent Spanish.

Mr Roderick did his best to ignore Patrick, who was dancing on top of the stack of papers atop the teacher's desk. Mr Roderick calmly said "Sì," but it was too late. Patrick pulled down his pants and underwear, butt facing Mr Roderick, did a little twerk, and proceeded to take a massive pee on the large stack of paper. That's an automatic referral for Patrick, which is bad news because he would need a parent signature on the referral, and his parents left him in the Bikini Bottom dump several years ago. As Patrick was escorted out of the class by several members of the county security members, the teacher started his lesson.

"Bien clase, hoy vamos a aprender un poco más sobre la cultura española," Mr Roderick said, which translates to 'alright class, today we will be learning some more about Spanish culture.' Bubble Bass found it hard to concentrate, as his thoughts of the upcoming summer outweighed the monotone voice of Mr Roderick. Midway through the lesson, Pearl asked "Hey Bubble Bass, can I get a piece of paper?"

"No, but you can get a knuckle sandwich if you keep asking me more questions!" Bubble Bass instinctively responded with. Pearl made a sad sort of face, and immediately, Bubble Bass could tell he made a mistake. What happened next kind of happened in slow motion, Pearl's eyes started to well with tears, then she let out a sniffle, then her bottom lip quivered, and before you knew it she was wailing as loud as she could, her screams and cries penetrating every fishes eardrums in the room.

"Pearl, what happened?" Asked SpongeBob in a curious yet gentle way.

"I, I *sniff* got *sniff* yelled at by Bubble Bass *sniff* all because *sniff* I wanted a piece of paper." She continued her loud shrieking until Mr Roderick couldn't take it any more.

"BUBBLE BASS, I ALREADY WROTE ONE REFERRAL, DON'T MAKE ME WRITE ANOTHER ONE YOU FRICKIN' SON OF A NEPTUNE!" The teacher proceeded to cuss out Bubble Bass in Spanish, and he finally cooled off to the point where Bubble Bass could talk.

"I'm sorry sir, I thought she was insulting me. It was an honest mistake." Which was actually true.

"WELL GUESS WHERE HONEST MISTAKES GET YOU IN LIFE?" Mr Roderick fumed on. "A CRAPPY JOB TEACHING KIDS HOW TO LEARN A USELESS LANGUAGE THEY WILL FORGET SOME TIME IN THE NEXT YEAR!" He was a hammerhead shark, so naturally he would be gray, but he was so mad that his face turned dark red with purple veins bulging out. Then, the former Driver's Ed teacher jumped out the two story building, landing on his neck. The entire class looked out the window at the scene, and it was horrifying. His neck twisted in an ungodly way, and slowly, the classes' gaze drifted to Pearl and Bubble Bass. Pearl's lips quivered, and then some random fish wittingly yelled "If you cry one more time, you're going to drown us all!" Which was supposed to calm her down, but it had the opposite affect. Pearl cried and cried, so much so that everyone started to float in the tears.

The class seemed to go by pretty slowly, with the dead teacher and all, until someone knocked on the door. With everyone waist-deep in Pearl's tears, it took a while for Bubble Bass to float towards the door. When he finally opened it, Pearl's tears started to flood the hallways. At the door was Mrs Puff, who was curious on why the teacher wasn't in the class. Everyone sort of just looked at each other, not saying a word.

"Well, where's Mr Roderick?" Nobody responded. Mrs Puff repeated herself, and the silence continued for a good twenty seconds. Finally, Clayton slowly gestured to the window, and Mrs Puff walked over. The room was dead silent for a long time, in fact, it was so quiet that the only think you could hear was a ticking of the old fashioned clock atop the board.

"Let's... um, let's pretend this never happened." Mrs Puff said, and then she fainted due to shock.