The Bride

I spent the entire night thinking about things, wondering why and how it had come to this. Why the good things, the heartfelt things, always seem to end in harshness, sorrow, and in pain. My mind slipped back to the past again. To yesterday, last month, last year. The first time we met, her smile when we exchanged names and greetings. Our future flashed through my mind in that brief moment. The charming ways I had made my own had begun to run their course. I watched her, every move, every slight gesture, every time our eyes caught each other and held on for a couple of seconds. I wanted her to feel how I looked at her. To enjoy how I looked at her.

The mist had turned to a light rain. It was refreshing and slowly brought me back to reality. I was thankful for it. The dampness helped to hide the release of my inner feelings, the emotions I failed at controlling. I could feel the warmth of the tears as they slowly ran. I felt embarrassed. There was a time when I would tell those that I comforted that I believed that our eyes needed to be washed by our tears from time to time. So that when our hearts have healed, and our mind has stopped racing, we would be able to see with clarity once more.

My thoughts had clouded time, and I hadn’t realized that I was almost there. Seemed that I had walked that distance in just seconds. I could see her, surrounded by her friends. Some I liked, the ones that supported us, that knew how happy she was. And the ones who despised us, who never wanted us together, who had won. My mind was screaming at me to be brave, telling me what I had to do, what I needed to do. The closer I came to her, the more the air grew quiet, the voices died down. I could feel everyone’s eyes beginning to watch my every move, to the point where I stood in front of her.

There were no words. Just a stare. I wanted to ask why. I knew I would get no answer. There was no reason or excuse for what had happened. None of it made sense. I knew what I needed to do. I leaned closer, grabbing and holding on to her hand. I kissed her on her lips. Pressed against hers, my eyes were closed, held shut by the immense amount of pressure that was on them. Memories flooded through my mind again. My throat began to close and it grew harder to breathe, the pressure was intense and continued to grow. My heart beat to a loud and violent rhythm, I could feel the warmth escaping from my heart. It was breaking, again. I opened my eyes, looking at her, she was so beautiful, even now. I touched my nose to hers, I whispered I love you. I could feel the salty tears drip off my chin, as I pulled away from her. The ring I had given her slipped off her finger and into my hand, as I let go. The pain had grown so strong, and I became numb, the cool wind blew across my face, chilling the tears, as I watched her casket lower into the ground.