Personality Part 3

I puked my stomach contents onto the ground. The clumped food and green shades mixed horrendously with the white. I groaned in pain as I tried to sit up. I had the worst migraine and my stomach felt like it was inside out.

Everything was blurry and I could barely see anything. It all looked white. Where the hell was I? I began to feel the sweat soaked sheets on the bed that I was sitting on and was scared I wet the bed for a moment. I hadn't so I tried to stand up.

It was a very good idea seeing as though I went toppling to the floor, with my knees barely working. The ground felt kind of soft as well, like a hard pillow. I waited for what seemed like ages before trying to stand up again. I was able to get a clearer reading when everything wasn't all fuzzy. I was in one of those padded rooms from the insane asylum movies of the 1980's or around there. There was a table and a single bed. Some clothing that didn't look as revealing as whatever I was wearing, which just seemed to be one of those little blankets you got at the hospital.

I stumbled over and clumsily got dressed. I made sure not to step in the vomit covering a good amount of the floor. I remember eating something vietnamese the night before, and whatever I puked up must have been some weird half digested version of it. I could swear there was a meatball though. I was essentially wearing scrubs but it was good enough. I knocked on the door and said, "Hey is anyone out there? Can you let me out?"

The door opened and a man in one of those weird scientists robes was standing there. It could have been a doctor's outfit; I couldn't tell the difference. "Oh you're up already. I was just coming to see you. It seems the food didn't go down right. I'll get a nurse right on that. Anyway my name is Dr. Valen and I'm I'll be your doctor here."

I looked at him a little confused. "What?" I blurted out into his face.

"I'm going to be your doctor for your stay here at Pearson Mental Health Care Hospital. Is everything alright," He looked at a sheet of paper. " Mr. davidson?"

"Yes it seems that there is something very wrong. I don't remember being here last night, and I'm pretty sure you got my name wrong. It's Carter Lee."

His eyes widened from what I said. It seemed a little odd given the circumstances. Maybe he was new here and thought he made a big mistake. "Look it's fine, you got my name wrong. If you could tell me what happened to me to end up here, I would be grateful. Did I hit my head or something?"

"Um, yes, you have amnes... Excuse me for a moment, would you?" Without even waiting for my approval he stormed down the hallway. It was all a bit strange to me and a little rude. I wandered around a bit more to find my bearings and ended up finding someone seated next to a window.

I asked him politely, "Excuse me, would you know where I can find a doctor to help me. No one is telling me what's happening. The last guy just rushed off because he thought that I just ended his career or something."
The man glanced up at me and immediately stood up. "Is this some kind of joke? Did richard put you up to this?"

"No, I don't know any richard's...It's not a joke, I just need some directions to an office," I replied.

"Look man you've been here longer than richard and I, you would know your way around a lot better. Stop yanking my chain."

I walked away from the weird guy with an imaginary friend and headed to another part of the hospital. The elevator needed keycard access so that was off limits. I found the cafeteria and a good amount of people were eating breakfast. I asked the nurses who seemed to be chaperoning everything like it was grammar school, and they all pointed me in the direction of the office. None of them seemed as confused as the doctor or the patient though.

I was almost to the office when I felt like I went past something I've seen before. I was a fairly large amount of the second floor dedicated to a garden. A lot of fruits and vegetables were halfway through growing when I walked in but the most amazing part, was the circle shaped zen garden in the middle. I never particularly liked gardening or that buddhist crap, but for some reason, this felt different. It felt familiar, and made me warm inside. That might have been because I was about to puke some more though.

Mostly just stomach acid came up this time and it splattered into the zen garden. Just then I felt a sharp pain in my head as a rush of emotions came out. I remembered raking the sand into beautiful rows, and making perfectly carved shapes. I fell to my hands and knees and then onto my side. I sat for a moment to take in what just happened. I had never done that. It must have been a dream. I must have a concussion, or the worst migraine to ever live. One so bad it causes hallucinations.

I started to pick myself up, when I fell straight back down, but this time, it was out of fear. 3 human sized monsters stood in front of me with singed hair and massive raked claws. I began to back up slowly as they looked at me, and I looked back. I hit the base of a flower bed and stopped.

"Worst concussion ever, worst concussion ever, you didn't wear your hard hat, you didn't wear your hard hat," I repeated to myself until one of the claws touched one of my hairs. I stood up immediately and backed off into the flowers.

"Stay away! Oh god what are you , you're hideous!" I yelled at them. They just laughed to each other and looked at me with their massive mouths. If they wanted to they could probably take my head off in one bite.

"We're you, dumbass." They said in unison. I looked at them with a scared and puzzled face. They said actual words, and it made no sense what so ever. "What?" I said.

"We got free when you looked at the garden. We're the ones that like it so much. We've all had a lot of time to think, and we all agree that you kind of suck as a person. Can't even find fun in the sand, and you ruined it." They said each yelling out a single word at a time.

I kept my hands up in case they attacked, but I kept the conversation going. "I suck? I wouldn't really say that if you're me. That means you all suck too." This was starting to get immensely weird. I was getting into an argument with hallucinations.

Before they could all talk in unison again, a pounding headache hit my head and they faded out of existence. Before I knew it a nurse came running in.

"Oh my, are you ok?" She gasped, as she grabbed my arm. "I'm bringing out to the infirmary right away. I gave a weak thumbs up before blacking out.

============

I woke up in the medical office with the infirmary doctor by my side. "Only out 10 minutes. That's a good sign," He said, looking at my waking eyes. I pulled my head off the pillow and looked around. It was only him and me.

"Um, yeah. What happened to me?" I asked.

"You blacked out apparently. A nurse brought you in and then went to clean up your mess. Seeing as though you're here though, and you seem to be fine now, I'm going to ask you a few questions."

"I don't really see how that would..." I was cut off.

"Now now, these help to diagnose your mental stability. It helps me understand where you're at in that head of yours right now."

"I will start with number 1. Do you remember anything before your accident?" he asked.

"Yes I remember everything before the accident. Next question." I said lazily.

"Ok question wait what! You remember?!" He looked down quickly at his notes and then back up at me. He ticked nervously a few times, and then stood up, and then sat back down. "Ok um, next question. Do you remember anything after the accident?"

"From when I woke up to now. Look man, what's happening. You're freaking out just as bad as the other doctor when I told him my name. It's not that big of a deal. I'm not a celebrity. I've never been president. What's going on?"

Just then someone rushed into the room talking as he opens the door. "We have a code red. I got everyone set up in the basement, but I can't find Carter...oh." Dr. Valen was standing in the doorway looking flustered.

"Carter. I need you to come with me. We need to do some tests on you." He said to me.

"Ok why should I. No one is telling me what's going on. Last thing I heard was you rambling something about amnes and then ran away."

"Ok carter, to tell you the truth, you have amnesia. You've been here for about a month. This is the first time you've remembered anything," Dr. Valen said quickly.

That's when things started to make a bit more sense. The headaches are from whatever accident, probably involving a car, happened, along with the puking. The reason last nights food on the floor didn't look the same as what I had before the accident. The reason I remembered the garden. The one thing I didn't understand were the monsters though. Maybe just some extreme hallucination?

"Ok everything is starting to make sense now. Has my daughter been notified. Is she with my father?" I asked.

"Yes they know. She's safe. Now I really need you to come with me. We need to figure out what caused this."

I followed Dr. Valen to the elevator, where he showed his card, and we got in. We passed the first floor and went to the basement. The door opened and we walked down a hallway and took a left. It was another long hallway to a door that did look a bit ominous. He opened it and let me in. Around 10 people were crowded over machinery placed around the room with two muscle men standing by what looked to be an electric chair. I turned to Dr. Ordell.

"Doctor what is this? It looks more like a torture chamber than something I would think you would use for a brain scan. I've seen those hospital shows." I looked at him dead in the eye.

"You're right Carter. We're here because we need to stall for time. Get him in the chair please." Dr. Ordell ordered the men.

In an instant I was grabbed and tied down to the chair. The bowl that went on my head was strapped in, and Dr. Ordell went behind the machines.

"I remember a bit more, you bastard! You kidnapped me, didn't you?"

"Mhmm yes we did. You are a great help to science. Turn on the machine."

I heard the machine wir to life above my head and a blinding light hit my eyes.
And then...

The light faded and the machine stopped. I looked at the Doctor and he looked back. Things started to fall together. I was remembering everything. Every person I was, and how different they were to each other. The room also began to grow hazy and dark. The monsters, my lives, started to appear in front of me, in the room, one by one. I felt 54 of them in all. A pattern hit me as well. Most of them lived for a month. At the very most, I haven't been here one month, I've been here 4 years.

"He didn't pass out."

"Brain waves are off the chart Ordell."

"Why didn't anything happen?"

I kept hearing the voices but they grew more distant by the second. I remembered back to the first time I talked to myself when I was nothing but disfigured pieces living inside myself. They had figured out why it was so dangerous to remember everything at once. What happens when you have 1 mind become a holding cell for 54. A massive brain meant for only 1 but now has to house so many different kinds of people. The brain can't take it. It would kill itself.

People went silent for a moment before sounds and sight came back in full force except, the left side of my head hurt and My migraine was even worse than before. I could hear in my right ear, "Holy shit his ear is bleeding!" which was followed up immediately by an entire room of screams and gasps. "His eye just exploded!"

Everything else became a blur. A blur to the elevator. I blur to the 1st floor. A blur to the emergency room. I think after I became stable they brought me to a room with a cat scan. After that I passed out.

=========

I hailed a taxi in the rain and was able to get one. I lived in Los Angeles, and everyone was leaving their jobs. I worked in construction, and to pay the bills better, I decided not to own a car. I was trying to save up for my daughters college. She was a smart girl. She was very good at school and any college would be stupid not to accept her. I had to make a stop to the supermarket first to get some flowers. We always liked to have a full bouquet at the table for her mom, since it just made sense. She killed herself a few years ago and we wanted to keep her in the house while still respecting her will.

I picked up some roses and got to the apartment complex. The doors opened up for me and I walked inside to find a man waiting for me. "Excuse me, are you Carter Lee?"

"Yes I am, is something wrong?"

"No sir. My name is Dr. Ordell. I just wanted to inform you that I work for a hospital that is testing an experimental mental health care machine that might be able to fix mental issues, and we understand that you have PTSD?"

"I do. Are you offering me a theoretical way to lose the PTSD?"

"Yes that is correct Mr. Lee. I know no one would just do this for free, so I'm willing to pay you as much as you need to get your child through a college education."

"Wait really!? You're kidding me?"

"I assure you I'm not. In order to set this deal up though I am going to need a bit of blood. It's just to test for diseases or other problems."

"Definitely. When can I come into your office?"

"Actually I have the materials necessary in my van. Follow me."

I followed him to his van parked at the end of the lot, and he opened up the door. I stood at the entrance as he put on some gloves and got out a needle. He went to stick it in my arm.

"Aren't you supposed to sanitize the area the needle goes in first?"

"Oh yes. I forgot, I'm sorry. I'm still a bit new at this."

He sanitized the area of entry properly, and stuck the needle in. Instead of seeing blood coming out though, I noticed that a clear substance was going in, but it was too late. I went to grab his arm but he had already pulled back, and I fell down and clutched the car door. Things started going hazy and Dr. Ordell's voice started to become an echo.

"What you will do for science, will help the mental health industry for centuries, Mr. Lee. Be proud of what you're about to do."

==========

I watched my body get laid down on the cot with life preserving machines hooked up to me. Over the years My body had diminished from the disfiguring. I was bloated from all the people inside me. I was decaying because my brain hadn't known who I was for years, and my limbs had grown into tentacles since they weren't useful any other way. All the other monsters had gone. They were assimilated into my brain when the machine was turned on. 53 people flooding a single mind at once. It was horrible. I stayed back, because I knew the consequences. It was written on my body like an omen. 1 more person and you will blow up like a balloon. I watched Dr. Ordell as he did tests for days on my body, trying to figure out what went wrong. Every CAT scan had come up inconclusive since "only one person can be allowed in the tube at a time". All those minds are swimming in there without a dam, flooding every inch of my brain, his brain. I haven't been me for a long time.

Maybe one day the consciousness's will merge together and create something cohesive again, but by the time that would happen I would be 80. After a year of this, I knew there was no hope. I would never be able to see the light of day again, only this room where machines are keeping me alive. I decided that I would end it once and for all. I walked over to my body and looked into its eyes. They were like windows to the soul, in a way. I felt drawn into it and let myself in. The door was open, and it pulled me down into the screaming depths of the subconscious. The last thing I heard before floating into the darkness was a loud continuous beep.