Turning Golden

My goldfish, Pepper, passed away yesterday. He was seven-years-old, and had mated with my other fish, Salt, to have four amazing goldfish. I know that goldfish, or any fish in general, are thought of as "unimportant pets". If your cat or dog died, everyone would be very sympathetic and empathetic. If your goldfish dies, it's not that big of a deal. For me, every single life matters. Pepper was a goldfish, yes, but he was a dad of four and a husband. I believe that he felt pain and grief when Salt died. He wouldn't get up from the bottom of the tank for six days. It may sound stupid, but I believe it. Now, the title "Turning Golden" is so because, hours before he died, Pepper's charcoal scales started changing. They started fading into a sickly gray first. I felt bad for him, because he was in obvious pain. His fins were all bunched together, his eyes bulging more than usual. Then his scales brightened. Ever so slightly, they got a golden tinge. His fins completely relaxed, his eyes pushed back into their sockets, and he just drifted around the bottom of the tank. Right before he died, his scales turned completely gold. Only some speckles of black remained, fading into the rest of his golden skin. It was an intriguing thing. Watching his fins swipe the water for the last time, his gills suck in a gigantic breath as if he was trying to take that breath, those scents of his family members and favorite food, to wherever he went when he died, was fascinating. I watched him more closely than I had my other fish in the past. I really wanted to see if what people say about goldfish was true. Honestly? I disagree. I love every one of my pets, but I don't want to treat them like pets. They have feelings too. This process, Pepper dying, was beautiful in an eerie way. When I first adopted him, I was very young. If you think about it, getting a goldfish is that moment when you know your parents see you as a responsible person. It's that gateway to more challenging pets, and more challenging responsibilities in life. Pepper was just a tiny, coal smudge against the turquoise background of the tank. As he died, he turned golden. He changed into something completely at peace with life, with whatever comes next. He may be just a goldfish to most everyone, but to me, he's an animal with a big heart. And, to please myself, I'd like to think that wherever Pepper is, he's with Salt. Maybe they can't understand anything or forget things, but I know that any animal that has babies and mates with another has some sort of feeling. Pepper had four babies, so I know in that fish heart of his, he felt something. And I also know that when you look close enough, you might just catch something almost gone turn golden before disappearing forever.