Life

Life

The world is a terrible, terrible, place. That feels like it should be in quotation marks, right? As if it were a quote? I mean, I technically could, I'm sure someone has said it. You know what? Yeah. "The world is a terrible, terrible place."
         Do you know why? I mean there are countless reasons, but one of which being that it is just unfair. Last night, I got in the shower and cried. I cried for those who have had their lives taken from them early. Or maybe they weren't taken early, but they were taken away from a person who would love to still have it. I cried for those who don't think they're good enough for this world. I cried or those who have killed themselves because they didn't think they were good enough for this world. I cried for all of the teenagers that have taken their own lives and all of the things they could have done. I cried for those that have passed in an accident, and how they will never have a chance to do these things, either. I cried because they would never get married, they would never have kids, they would never make a family, they would never travel the world with someone they love, they would never grow old, they would never do things that I have the chance to do.
I cried because these people left behind so much. I cried because you, the victim, left behind your mom and every little thing would remind her of you, causing pain all over again; you left behind your dad who would remember your childhood and it would kill him watching any kid in public, growing up just like you were; you left behind your brother, and him getting chills walking by your empty room, remembering how you were just living there; you left behind your sister, that will hear your laugh and be overcome sadness; you left behind your siblings, that will never get used to the fact that there is one less in the family and stare at your empty chair at the dinner table; you left behind their grandparents, making them think of how you left before they did; you left behind your family, forcing them to go through your things, making it unbearable for them to remember you just being here; you left behind your best friend who gets a pang in their chest every time they hear your name or come across a photo of you two together; you left behind your classmates, that look at your empty locker and empty desk, and imagine you sitting in class, just like you used to; you left behind your teachers, who blame themselves and think about how they could have done something to help you; you left behind your pets, who will forever wait by the door for you to come home; you left behind your memory that will haunt every place you have been; you left behind the whole world, filled with opportunities and adventures: if you would have just held on, just a little bit longer, you wouldn't have to do this. You wouldn't have had to cause so much pain. You wouldn't have had to left so much behind.
I cried because some people are much more deserving of a life than I am. I cried because I kept on asking, "God, why me?" Not in the traditional "God, why me?" way, but in a "How come my life is so great?" way. I wanted to know why I have a chance, and all of these great people don't. How come all of these people that died unexpectedly didn't get a chance to grow older and didn't get all of these opportunities, and I do? How come I have a great family while some teenagers that have taken their lives didn't? How come I am a healthy teen while others have died of illness and did not have a choice?
I cried because some people do not think about this. They do not think about how other people have terrible lives. They do no think about people that are suffering more than them. They do not think about the tens of thousands of people that are victims of suicide a year. They do not think of the many people that have it worse than they do.
I cried because I, too, forget this sometimes. I forget how the things that I get upset about are so little compared to what some people have to go through. I cried because there could be people around me, in my school, that I walk by everyday, and don't know that they go home to self-harm. I cried because I am oblivious, and I could be doing something to help. Everyone could be doing something to help, and I don't want a person to kill themselves for that to happen.
I cried because I want people to open their eyes, so they can see the people, in the shadows, waiting for help that they may never get. I want people to talk to me, to talk to others about their problems, even when they may not feel like talking. I want them to get it out of their system, so they can feel better. I want those suffering to become happy with themselves, so suicide is something they don't even think about anymore.
I cried because there are mean people in this world. People who will bully someone to the point where they take their own life, then afterwards act like nothing ever happened.
I cried because of stereotypes. Because of the words "depression", "bipolar", "suicidal", "poverty", that turn into "weirdo", "freak", "attention craver", and "poor". I cried because of name-calling, and all of the people that feel the need to put someone down to make themselves feel better,
I cried because this world could be so, so much better. This world could be a place where everyone is happy: happy with themselves, happy with their looks, happy with their family, their friends, their house, their things, their school, teachers, abilities; happy with life. I cried because I want the world to be this way. I desperately want the world to be this way. And why can't it? Why should a few foul eggs spoil the whole batch?
I just want you to know that you are good enough for this world, and never think that you are not. There are so many opportunities you have, and I don't want you to miss out on them. Everybody deserves a great life. Please, I beg you, to live it to the fullest, because you never know what will happen tomorrow. Tell your mom you love her everyday, and give her the biggest hugs before school; go through old pictures with your dad, and laugh at all the good times; bring your brother into your room, tell each other stories and grow closer; laugh with your sister, and make endless memories with her; talk about your day at the dinner table, and lock the sounds of everyone's laughter into your memory; have your grandparents tell you stories, and give them hugs and kisses every time your see them; hang out with your best friend, and take many pictures to remember the good times; become closer with your classmates, and form friendships that will last a lifetime; thank your teachers for all they have done for you, and all they do for other students; give your dog a big fat kiss on the nose when you get home from school and lay with them on the floor and tell them about everything; go out there and explore this world filled with opportunities and adventures, because you never know what will happen tomorrow.