The Red Towel

Craig has been looking forward to this weekend for weeks. Finally, he and his wife Danielle can have some time alone without the kids. He couldn't have picked a better place to go, either: Catalina Island. She has never been to Catalina, so he decided to go all out and make it as romantic as possible. He booked a room for the two of them at a bed-and-breakfast in Avalon that got great Yelp reviews and also made reservations for Friday night at an ocean-side restaurant. Even though they have been married nearly twenty years, Craig wanted to sweep Danielle off her feet like he had never done before.

"This room is so cute," Danielle gushed as they entered their room at the B&B. She set her suitcase at the foot of the bed and took their toiletries into the bathroom.

"Yeah," Craig responded. "It's got that beachy feel to it." He walked across the room and out on the balcony. "Hey, Dani, check out the view from the balcony."

Danielle joined Craig on the balcony, and when she saw the view of the harbor, her eyes widened and a smile splashed across her face. "Oh, my God," she said almost breathless. "I could get used to this."

"So, do you like it?" Craig asked with a chuckle. Danielle rolled her eyes and gave him a funny look as he walked off the balcony toward the bathroom.

Craig walked into the spacious bathroom. He desperately needed to pee. He had been holding it since they got on the ferry at Newport Beach. But before he could start, he noticed a gruesome sight: Danielle had brought a red towel from home. Being married and also growing up with four sisters, Craig knows what the red towel means. "Oh, shit!" he exclaimed flatly, unaware that he said it loud enough for Danielle to hear him.

"What was that, babe?" she asked as she walked into the bathroom.

Craig scrambled to mask his disappointment. "Oh, shit," he finally said. "We got both a shower and a tub. It's one of those garden tubs like you've always wanted. And the tub looks like it has jets like a hot tub."

"Yeah, that's great, Craig. Now as much as I love this place, I'd really like to see more of Catalina than our room."

"Yeah, sure. Let's go."

But all Craig could think about was the red towel hanging on the towel rack like a big red flag sending his romantic weekend with his wife to a sexually frustrating demise. In spite of Danielle having the time of her life shopping, the reef tour in the glass-bottomed boat, and the candlelit dinner with the Pacific Ocean as a backdrop, Craig remained preoccupied with the crimson terrycloth stop sign blaring in his mind.

After dinner, Danielle took a bath while Craig sat in bed and watched TV. When she finished, she walked out of the bathroom wearing a light blue silk nightgown with a low cut lace neckline. "So, what do you think?" she asked in a sexy voice.

Craig looked up and turned off the TV. "You look nice, Dani," he said plainly.

"Really? That's all you have to say? 'You look nice, Dani.' Are you serious right now?"

"Well, you look nice. I like that you kept your hair like you had it done at dinner."

"Um, dude, my boobs are down here," she spouted angrily as she gestured toward her chest. "I look hot, and you're looking at my hair? What's your deal, Craig? You've been acting weird all day."

Craig didn't want to say anything at first, but he relented. "Fine, I'll tell you. Earlier today, I saw the red towel in the bathroom."

"My towel is burgundy."

"That's not the point, Dani. You couldn't have given me a head's up? You couldn't have asked me to push our weekend alone ahead a week because the mensies were going to be in town?"

Danielle let out a loud laugh. "What?" she blurted. "You thought I'm on my...no, honey, I'm not. That explains so much."

"You know what, Dani, I'm sorry," he said dejectedly. "I screwed everything up. All I thought about today was that stupid towel, and I acted weird and ruined our nice, romantic weekend. I'm just going to go to sleep now." He turned off the lamp on the nightstand and rolled over to go to sleep.

Danielle sat down next to Craig, turned his lamp back on, and kissed him on the cheek. "You didn't ruin anything," she said softly. "I know you went all out planning this. I had fun shopping and on the boat trip, and dinner was amazing. This has been the most romantic night I've had with you since our honeymoon. Thank you."

Craig rolled over and sat up in bed. "I'll have to admit," he said with a grin, "Your boobs do look good in that nightie."

"Don't they? I couldn't stop looking at myself in the mirror. It's like I'm 25 again."

So Craig and Danielle did wind up having a most romantic weekend on Catalina Island. They did so in spite of that infamous red, or some may say, burgundy towel.