Lover of BLUES!

How did I even make this far? I mean how could God be this insane to let a human like me get through these many years? Twenty two years aren’t any less.

When you do nothing but daydream about your beautiful future the whole day, or just keep on lying on your bed fantasizing about the weirdest things that can ever be thought of, or covering almost a season of ‘How I Met Your Mother’ (HIMYM), or watch some hair-styling tutorials which in reality you are never going to get your hands on, or stalking other people on Instagram, Facebook. And you know what the worst part is – you stalk those whom you don’t even know. I mean what other proof is needed to declare such a person as an epitome of uselessness.

This is not the story of a single day but many days. When I do nothing but waste my time, as if God has given me thirty hours a day. My life seems nothing more than a television whose remote control is in my hands. Yeah, this is the worst case I can think of. If only remote was in some wise person’s hand, I would be doing something productive; leading my life, effectively, not simply drifting along.

And then one day, after so many over-relaxing days, I finally took my laptop, opened MS-Word, laid my fingers down on the keys, and stared at that blank white screen for some good amount of time. Staring wasn’t the part of my plan, I thought. Within no time I started the ‘staring contest’ with the screen, and I won too. Hurrah! But that was the time when I lost to writing; I felt it was just a certain period when ideas came flooding to my mind, and now that period was over, so was my writing. My vision became hazy; my hands shivered; my throat became dry – all this because my creative stint was over. I could not write. It was all over.

Did you ever feel so? You must have. Maybe it came to you not this way; maybe in a harder way than this or much simpler way. But it must have.

We all come across such days which we call ‘Blue’ days, and it is really normal. Until and unless you don’t give up, it is all okay. We all are entitled to such days. They are like reflection of our life, a life where we won’t be writing. Did you like those days? If yes, then go ahead living your life that way. Nobody will force you to write, as nobody ever forced you to start writing at the first place. But if you feel empty inside; hollowness spreads through your mind, body, and swallows your whole being then that’s the call, my friend. A call telling you how lifeless you would be without ‘Writing’ in your life. Take the call.

You need not be married to them to write; just being a genuine lover is enough, lover of your ideas, your words. You all will fight, you will argue, you probably would not talk to each other for days, but you will sort it out because you are committed to each other. Everything is allowed, but not infidelity. You can be a suspect, which you would be when you are enjoying with other things in your leisure, but not guilty, which will be the case if you abandon writing completely.

Show some love to your writing, give time to those ideas to blossom, and you will see a flower unfolding its petals, diffusing its fragrance all around, and attracting all the bees. Those bees being not other than your readers.

Blue days are not permanent. They are just the reminders to you of how foggy your life’s sight would turn into if you quit writing. Don’t give up if you can’t write today. Rare have this gift and luxury of writing something meaningful, every day. Take a break. Read. Watch a movie. Go to a small trip. And there you will be, back in front of your laptop. It will work. I assure you. You need not be perfect. Just don’t stop being a lover, not even to these blue days. You never know you might end up writing something about them too. *chuckles*