THE DEVIL AND ME part 2

I slowly walked through the dark hallway....remembering my past....i sat down on the cold carpet floor and started at the wall. I grabbed my cell phone and without a thought I searched through my connections. There she was, Sarah. A girl I have always liked, a girl I always imagined would be with me. Don't bother her I kept saying.....“Talk to her” he said while draped over my shoulders. “she likes you...” he said with such a evil grin. I knew it wasn't right to contact someone so late and someone that obviously had zero interest. “how do you know she doesn't, if you don't talk?” he bought up a good point, maybe she loves me. He laughed as I texted her. “hey”.... that's all I had. Maybe she could start the conversation. …..No response...say something again, no don't do it. “DO IT!” he shouted...I just stared in my bedroom doorway. “tell her you care about her....you want her to be happy!” I'm just a freak if I say that. If she cared she prove it. He laughed at me....”you'll never live if you don't try.” I turned and made eye contact, he was smiling. “don't be afraid....what's the worse that could happen?” he was right, all she could say was no. I texted again....”I really like you...” a few seconds later my phone blows up. I was nervous, did she fell the same way? I quickly grabbed my phone and looked at the message...”I'm flattered, but I have a boyfriend”.......My heart was filled with disgusted. A boyfriend? She never mentioned him, or talked about him, or even the fact she even had one. Why talk to me like you cared? Why show me you cared? Why act like.....I matter......? that's my thoughts after reading that. “Love is only for people that don't get it....” he vanished....what did he mean, am I a strong person!?

I finished my beer and tossed it in the trash. I looked up at the clock, quarter to 12. I didn't have to work tomorrow I can have another. I grabbed a beer out of the fridge and started checking facebook. All my friends, at least I called them friends were all posting pictures of what they were doing tonight. Sitting around a fire, chilling at people's houses, enjoy good company at the bar. “Why didn't they invite you?” in the distance in the chair, he was there. “they knew I say no” they knew I would decline the invitation to fun of coarse that's a lie. “they didn't invite you because they don't like you!” I turned and wanted to shout at him...but maybe he was right. I turned back to my computer screen and kept scrolling down facebook. “What would happen if you died right now?” I sat still didn't even breathe for a few seconds. “How long would it take for someone to find your lifeless body?” My friends don't talk to me, my family doesn't talk to me how long would it take? Weeks? Months? I tried so hard not to think of it. “imagine you have a heart attack and nobody hears you gasp while you collapse on the floor.” Ignore him I tell myself “sun up, sun down, moon down, moon up....you just lie there for days and days.” I hated every single world coming out of his mouth but its true. “all the happy people passing by a building inside with a room inside with you...lying there....dead!” Imagine that, ignored while I was alive and ignored while I was dead!