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Rated: 18+ · Short Story · Satire · #2096335
A Kate Johnson Dystopian Story. Potential basis for my NaNo Project.
Shina took a deep and exhaled loudly. The temptation to look in the mirror again was there, but she knew that there was a job to do. Plus, her braids couldn't have been messed up with one simple breath, could they? "Why am I the chosen one? I thought it was always a white girl that saved the world."

"Oh my God, there is no winning with you, is there?" I asked, hoping that my annoyance translated from one world to the next. Shina looked over at me and casually rolled her eyes. It was something that my grandson Jeff had done many times in the past, and each time I smacked him upside his head. "Don't make smack you over the head with that book."

Both of our eyes fell to the copy of Battle Royale, which sat on her bed. She flinched a bit, although I am sure that she hoped I didn't see it. "And how in the world am I supposed to overthrow the government with a horny, grandma ghost? If the fates hated me this much, why didn't they just throw me into the pits of Hell? That's where I'm going to end up anyways."

"First of all, if you can't appreciate Channing Tatum's bare bottom, that's your issue not mine. But we will watch Magic Mike as often as we can because who doesn't love naked men. And you don't have to worry about me being around if you end up in a love triangle. Those are so pass.."

"Said the woman whose husband ran off with a werewolf." She pushed me to the point, where I hit her over the head with the book. "Damnit that hurt!"

"The Red Coats are coming! The Red Coats are coming!" The shouts were coming from several of Shina's neighbors.

"Let's not make this into a trilogy. One and done, right?" Shina smiled at me and picked up her sword, and swooshed it through the air. There was no way we would win the war with a sword but this was only a battle. Or at least that's what we kept telling one another. To be honest, it was more her yelling at me while I was watching The Vow. She might be the hero that the world needed, but she was not the roommate anyone would want. "I'll do what I can to help you but the majority of this will fall on you to do."

"I got this!" She shouted as the Red Coats broke down her door, guns drawn. There were 8 of them, which meant that someone had betrayed her and warned that she was planning on fighting the Government. Her eyes fell to a cute guy, pain filled them. It was the one that she had confessed to having a crush on. "Cyrus?"

This is how all of those girls ended up nearly getting killed, they let their hearts lead the way. Never send a human in to do a ghost's job. There was a pack of matched by the stove, so I grabbed those and undid the propane tank. I turned the handle and heard the first sounds of gas, just in time to see one of the men cocking his gun.

Whoosh! All it took was one strike of the match and the fire came breathing out of the tank. The Red Coats turned to see what was happening and the fear on their faces was priceless. Almost better than going to a Male Strip Club, Almost.

The fire danced around for a moment before latching onto the closest enemy. His yelp drew the attention of his comrades, who all tried to no avail to help him. Shina wasted no more time, she used her sword and started to eliminate those who would do her harm. Her movements with the sword were lyrical. High and low she got rid of the Red Coats. Except for Cyrus. Their eyes met. "Go on, get rid of me too."

"How could you do this to me?"

Before he could answer, a barrage of bullet slammed into the house. There was no way that I could use fire to distract them again, not that it wouldn't be effective but it would be boring for me. In an action movie, the hero would know automatically what to do. For Shina and I this was real life.

One of the Red Coats had his gunned trained on Shina. There was no way that I was going to let her be killed. She may be a smartass, rude, judgmental heroine but she was my smartass, rude, judgmental heroine. Only one plan came into mind, so I went to the nearest man. Yanked down his pants and watched as he scrambled to pull them up. Just as I had hoped, he dropped his gun.

Now being a ghost has its advantages, one of them being no one can see you. I squeezed the trigger, which caused the other Red Coats to turn their guns on one another. As if by design each of them ate lead and fell over. Shina mouthed a "thank you" to me.

She grabbed her bag and we left the house. For a while we travelled in silence. Bitterness swept over me, she could be quiet while we made our way to the Capitol but felt the need to shout when a cute guy was tending to amnesiac wife? That was just plain insanity. "You saved my ass, Kate."

"Nah, I only did what a ghost mentor should. We need to enjoy the peace while it lasts."

"Did you bring a portable DVD player?"

"You do realize that I am nothing more than mist and a spirit right? I don't carry anything with me."

"Damn. I really wanted to watch Magic Mike 2 with you. Kind of have a quiet evening."

"Yeah right. You would talk all the way through it. For some reason you hate Channing Tatum."

"True but I love Matt Bomer."

© Copyright 2016 Author Ed Anderson (spaz11081 at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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