A Unique Cut

A Unique Cut

The shopper stood impatiently in front of the large mirrored glass and chrome fixtures, a dour, disapproving countenance gripping his face : "What a paltry offering! This store is becoming acutely lax", he mumbled in acrimonious disapproval.

"There he is that inept knave, maybe I can summon his attention before he returns to his bailiwick beyond those mirrored glass and chrome fixtures.

"Pardon me! Pardon me!" True to his ilk, he exhibits a definite propensity to ignore me. One must enjoin, a mere request is vigorously ignored. However...there is a device which is often successful.

"Pardon me, SIR!"

A small man with thin delicate features, dressed in a blood spattered white apron replied in most diffident and reverent tone, "may I help you?", wiping his nervous hands upon his white blood splattered apron as he spoke, easily finding clean areas on the essential garment.

The shopper replied in fatuous disapproval: "You certainly may, he pointed with patronizing digit, "I demand a particular cut of meat which to my dismay I find unavailable in your pitifully limited meat fixture."

The meat cutter's eyes darted around in restless pursuit, addressing the mysterious complaint. After careful consideration he finally exclaimed, nonplused, "I have a fully stocked fixture. What more could I possibly offer? What more could you possibly want that is not here available to you?"

The shopper laughed derisively demanding with rigid finality: "I want a cut of meat which is unique."

The meat cutter smiled meekly, "Unique?" "Yes, unique. Uniquely unique. I demand a unique cut of meat." The shopper's face twisting in rage, at which sight the stunned meat cutter fell back in dreadful fear. Inquiring with quavering whine; "How shall I fulfill your demand I have no knowledge of what is necessary to satisfy such a demand."

Disparagement from the shopper's tongue becoming increasing severe; "That is of no matter. You shall retire beyond this mirrored glass and chrome fixtures and prepare a cut, then promptly return to this fixture where I am now standing . If you bring to me the correct cut I shall know it. Now be off with you. Quickly!" "Quickly!" "Quickly!"

An incredulous, bewildered look struck across the meat cutters face as he groped and stumbled backward toward his bailiwick beyond the mirrored glass and chrome meat fixtures, the shoppers voice chasing after him sharply; clapping his formidable hands together with explosive force and anger

"I shall demand and you must supply, you inept bungling knave . Quickly! Quickly! Quickly!

The meat cutter floundered into his bailiwick, skidding precariously upon the hard tile floor: forthwith his tortured eyes fastened upon Stanley the impressive and steadfast bull who was pilloried to his feeding apparatus blissfully partaking of a tasty brunch.

Stanley lifted his head regarding the meat cutter in his distinct noncommittal bovine fashion, and continued to grind slowly his apportioned meal with his sturdy powerful jaws.

The meat cutter approaching Stanley with urgent step quickly produced curious instruments, which as of this moment Stanley was completely unfamiliar with, The meat cutter's face reflecting an impending urgency, his eyes holding a tortured indelible gleam.

"Now Stanley, my faithful and steadfast companion this is an excellent opportunity for you to earn your upkeep," the meat cutter announced anxiously, as he approached Stanley's hindquarters and snipped with calculated precision.

The blood gushing forth rudely, Stanley bellowed in pain, "what the heck are you doing back there meat cutter??? The meat cutter, slashing through a dangling piece of flesh assured the trembling Stanley... "It's merely an incidental medical procedure there is absolutely no need for alarm; the discomfort will soon abate.

Stanley began to kick wildly, tormented by vicious throes of intense pain.
"Control yourself Stanley !" The meat cutter insisted in a most concerned entreating voice."Let me reassure you Stanley there is no need for alarm." Reflecting a dire concern the meat cutter considered for a moment; these shackles will surely give way if Stanley continues this violent spasm, he then urgently darted a syringed needle into the raw wound. Sanely lurched forward bellowing louder than ever before, now the shackles rattled ominously but held fast.

"A unique cut of meat the shopped demanded and a unique cut I shall surely supply," the meat cutter whispered to himself in approbation.

The shopper stood in commanding defiance as the meat cutter appeared from beyond the mirrored glass and chrome meat fixtures.

The meat cutter at once satisfied and relieved by his outstanding accomplishment proudly removed the dripping white towel from the stainless steel pan then presented the unique cut to the shopper.

"Unique cut! Unique cut! You have produced no unique cut! My demand remains unfulfilled," he scolded harshly. The meat cutter leaching back in astonishment and dismay retorted "But how shall I know this unique cut you speak of?" the meat cutter pleaded earnestly , tipping his paper hat in obsequious challenge.

"Must I repeat myself incessantly, you ridiculous moron," the shopper lashed out in profuse fury. . "Return to you bailiwick beyond the mirrored glass and chrome mixtures and produce the unique cut!"

The meat cutter turned in solemn disappointment to reenter his bailiwick. "Quickly, Quickly, Quickly!" the shopper's hands clapped in thunderous urgency.

Upon entering his bailiwick once again, the meat cutter mumbled to himself anxiously; "Unique cut? Unique cut? How shall I ever accommodate such an obscure, ill-defined demand?" Approaching Stanley he informed him "you will require further attention." Stalely responded, bleeding and impotent, is it truly necessary meat cutter ? I feel an absolutely dreadful sense of presentiment.

The meat cutter then selected his favorite knife, touching the blade with his forefinger ever so delicately he replied in solicitous tone; "most indubitably Stalely, most indubitably."

The blade fell in swift precision, lancing through the tough hide and exposing more abundantly Stanley's quivering hind quarters; it striking through tendons and deep into the bone.

"What was that?" Stanley gasped expectantly, the meat cutter continued the procedure, deftly excising a substantial area of flesh, "Relax Stanley the process is progressing nicely,"he assuaged sincerely. "The procedure is nearly complete. There is no need for any alarm."

When the meat cutter once again regained the mirrored glass and chrome fixtures the shopper stood waiting with regal impatience and exasperation
"There you are the shopper scoffed with paternal vexation. Well let's have it!" at this pompous command the meat cutter held forth the stainless steel pan and lifted the towel with cringing uncertainty.

The shopper smiled broadly, the meat cutter stood bemused, then transfixed as the shopper's visage shattered in laughter and sardonic derision. Presently this fit abated and he issued his severest warning to the meat cutter. "I'm losing my patience with you, meat cutter." Peremptorily waving the meat cutter back once again to his bailiwick the shopper, with supreme arrogance, made his emphatic demand. "Quickly! Quickly! Quickly! You obtuse idiot.

The meat cutter rushed back to his bailiwick now flushed with immense dread and terror. "He is losing his patience! What shall I do to satisfy his demand for a unique cut?" With frantic step he once again approached Stalely who had keeled over on his side and lay in a puddle of considerable blood and gore. "It is truly necessary that you receive further attention, Stalely," the meat cutter insisted urgently. Stalely flinched intermittently but made no further comment.


After substantial cutting, gouging and hacking the meat cutter felt certain that he had at long last indeed produced the unique cut!

With great relief the exhausted meat cutter approached his mirrored glass and chrome fixtures Would this be a time of reconciliation and accord??? Glancing around he searched earnestly but alas there was no shopper to be found, no bitter admonishment, no grandiose demands, nor even an agonizing tearful farewell to behold....