To My Bestfriend

I’m tired of this!
I know I made that decision
I made that choice
I have chosen us to stay as friends
Oh no, best friends rather
Nothing more, nothing less
But I tell you what
I cannot always control this heart, you know?
Just to remind you, even the muscles of it are involuntary.

Yes, I know and I’m sure of it
I’m feeling it, for Pete’s sake!
I have to admit
It is starting to reside in me
I fool no one but myself if I’ll deny it
And I’m terrified of what might happen
But no! Maybe I can still ignore it
I can still fight over it
Sooner or later, I may just get rid of it, right?
Or maybe I can’t?
Scratch that. Who’s fooling who again?

You see?
Why did you let yourself fall for your best friend?
If only it was I first, I should have able to hold it back
Why it has to be this complicated?
No, maybe, it’s not how it's supposed to
But it appears to be like that
Falling for me is already a threat in our good friendship
And falling for you, too, can destroy it
Falling for each other sounds a happy ending, right?
It may seem simple, but it will never be easy
Definitely not easy!

If it has to be this soon,
It may teach me to depend on you forever
Like fishes in the sea, trees in its roots
As well as birds on their wings
I might long for you in every minute
Text you in the morning,
Chat with you the whole day,
And text you again in the evening
Ugh! Addiction really sucks.

What if I get jealous all of a sudden?
Could you handle tantrums?
How about dealing with small pointless fights?
I get mad for no apparent reason,
I easily get “paranoid”,
I got mood swings too!
And oh, would you mind if I’ll doubt your sincerity sometimes?
You know, just because someone out there was good enough to break my heart.

Now, did I make myself clear?
I did not attempt to dump these feelings for nothing
If I am to fall in love with you,
I desire it to be something you’ll be happy for
Not something you’ll regret later on
I should be fair

If you’re whole when you loved me, then I should be, too
If you put efforts to make me feel special, then I should do so
If you’re happy seeing me smile, then let me feel it as well
If you share your time with me, then let me share mine with you
That’s how I see it
When I do too much taking without any giving will drown me
When you do too much giving without any taking will empty you
And no one wants that.